Monday, June 29, 2009

The Meaning Behind "I Don't Care"

I went to Kansas City this weekend to spend an evening out with some of my very best girlfriends from college. We always have so much fun together and I knew that this trip would be the same. After a very long decision process (which is the meaning of my post...) we decided to eat at a Thai restaurant in downtown KC and then walk to the Power and Lights district for a night of drinks and dancing.

I have now spent two weekends with two different groups of women (see mystery weekend) and one common phrase keeps popping up. "I don't care." I noticed myself saying it, my sister saying it, my mom, my friends, and numerous times throughout the trips. I started to think a little about how often I say it, and how often it gets said by women. Then I thought about how many different reasons their might be fore saying "I don't care" and how confusing that might be to men. I thought I would try to explain some of the reasons that I say "I don't care."

1. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I really don't care." This one I use mainly when trying to pick a place to eat. I am not a picky eater, and many of my friends can be. So I really don't mind where we eat most of the time. I can find something at any place that I will eat and probably enjoy. Many times I try to get out of the "I don't care" jam by giving a few choices of places that sound good, that way I have at least added to the conversation.

2. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "My opinion won't really matter anyway." There may have been times when a woman gave her opinion or suggestion and it wasn't taken. This tends to happened a few times before we get to this point, but it does happen.

3. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I don't want to seem bossy." Let me clarify. I don't say "I don't care" because I am incapable of making a decision. I am very good at making decisions...sometimes I make them too quickly. But if every time I get to make the decision then I get the stigma of being bossy, or even worse...selfish because "we always have to do what Jill wants"

4. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I really do care and I'm testing you to see how well you know me, because you should know me well enough to read my mind and pick what I want you to without telling you" This one is many times used towards men. I hate this one. I've seen many of my girlfriends use this on their boyfriends/fiance/husbands and then end up mad when he didn't pick the right thing. I can honestly say I have never used this myself to date...but I can't promise it won't EVER happen...I am a woman, and we are complex and do things for reasons that we don't even know.

I am sure there are many more reasons behind the "I don't care" but these are the ones that I know and use (or have seen used). If you have any other ideas, don't hesitate to add to the comments!

No comments: