Monday, June 29, 2009

The Meaning Behind "I Don't Care"

I went to Kansas City this weekend to spend an evening out with some of my very best girlfriends from college. We always have so much fun together and I knew that this trip would be the same. After a very long decision process (which is the meaning of my post...) we decided to eat at a Thai restaurant in downtown KC and then walk to the Power and Lights district for a night of drinks and dancing.

I have now spent two weekends with two different groups of women (see mystery weekend) and one common phrase keeps popping up. "I don't care." I noticed myself saying it, my sister saying it, my mom, my friends, and numerous times throughout the trips. I started to think a little about how often I say it, and how often it gets said by women. Then I thought about how many different reasons their might be fore saying "I don't care" and how confusing that might be to men. I thought I would try to explain some of the reasons that I say "I don't care."

1. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I really don't care." This one I use mainly when trying to pick a place to eat. I am not a picky eater, and many of my friends can be. So I really don't mind where we eat most of the time. I can find something at any place that I will eat and probably enjoy. Many times I try to get out of the "I don't care" jam by giving a few choices of places that sound good, that way I have at least added to the conversation.

2. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "My opinion won't really matter anyway." There may have been times when a woman gave her opinion or suggestion and it wasn't taken. This tends to happened a few times before we get to this point, but it does happen.

3. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I don't want to seem bossy." Let me clarify. I don't say "I don't care" because I am incapable of making a decision. I am very good at making decisions...sometimes I make them too quickly. But if every time I get to make the decision then I get the stigma of being bossy, or even worse...selfish because "we always have to do what Jill wants"

4. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I really do care and I'm testing you to see how well you know me, because you should know me well enough to read my mind and pick what I want you to without telling you" This one is many times used towards men. I hate this one. I've seen many of my girlfriends use this on their boyfriends/fiance/husbands and then end up mad when he didn't pick the right thing. I can honestly say I have never used this myself to date...but I can't promise it won't EVER happen...I am a woman, and we are complex and do things for reasons that we don't even know.

I am sure there are many more reasons behind the "I don't care" but these are the ones that I know and use (or have seen used). If you have any other ideas, don't hesitate to add to the comments!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Mystery Weekend

This last March, my mother came to my sister and I and said "I have an idea, and if you don't like it we don't have to do it, it's just a thought." Of course Jamie and I want to know the idea, we both know that we will want to do it not matter what it always has such great ideas.

"I would like to plan a trip for just us girls this summer," she said "I've always wanted to start a yearly tradition of simple trips for just us." Of course right away, Jamie and I are enthusiastic and start brainstorming ideas of where to go. "Here's the catch," mom says "I'm going to do all the planning, and I'm not going to tell you where we're going we all pile in the car and are ready to go. What do you think?" We LOVED the idea!

Over the course of the next few months mom enjoyed planning our weekend in secret and teasing us with little smiles and lines like "I just booked our hotel, and it's supposed to be the best hotel in the area." Jamie and I were so excited...finally counting down the days to our "Mystery Trip."

On Friday, mom picked us up and we left for our fun filled weekend. The destination??? Oklahoma City. This was a great place for us to go because we had all been through it a time or two on our way south to Texas, but never stopped to do much. Plus the Oklahoma City Memorial was there...something all of us had wanted to see. Our trip was filled with many fun things!

The Memorial:

We went to the memorial on Friday right after checking in to our hotel. This is something we wanted to make sure we did right away so that we wouldn't end up with bad weather and miss out. I was in the 6th grade with the bombing occurred and I remember watching the news and feeling sad. The main portion of the memorial is located outside, and there is a museum inside that takes you through the events of the day. It is VERY moving and emotional. A wonderful experience.

Wine Tasting:

On a whim we stopped into a little store in Bricktown in OK City. They had free wine tastings and we thought that it would be fun to try a couple. I think we tried most of the wines on the list (except for the really dry ones) and it was a very hard decision, but we each took home a bottle. Mine is called "dust bowl," Jamie's is "Skinny Dip" and I can't remember mom's but it was VERY good...I had a hard time choosing between the two.


The local area downtown that has lots of food, drinks, and entertainment. We spent most of Saturday evening and night down at Bricktown. We had a "Progressive Supper" where we ate appetizers at one place, main meal and another, and got marble slab ice cream at the end. There is a river walk and you can take a canal ride throughout the entire area. We took the boat that had cocktails. Mom and I had a "Sunrise" (cranberry and vodka) and Jamie had a "Mango Bango" which was some fruity drink that was yummy! I appropriately titled that the "Booze Cruise" :-)

All in all we had a fantastic weekend! We look forward to next year's "Mystery Weekend" which mom is already busy planning!