Friday, December 11, 2009

Cause I Teach Middle School...

I can:

~ Tell you all the different flavors of Axe body spray for men solely by their sent.

~ Speak fluent sarcasm. I've got the eye roll down too

~ Give you great gift ideas for either a teenage girl or guy. Girl...anything with Twilight or make-up (bonus points for anything that's sparkly). Boys...Axe body spray for men or flat brimmed hats.

~ Identify the names of songs that I have no desire to listen to. The same goes with the singers who sing them.

~ Say with confidence that middle school students should NOT have a cell phone of their own!

~ Persuade a 13 year old boy to clean something for a mere Jolly Rancher. (the blue flavor)

~ dream of the day when alcohol is allowed at the work-place. There are some days when a Tylenol just won't cut it and I need something just a little stronger...

~ Be cheered up immediately by a silly story or a kind gesture...yes they do happen!

~ Argue why there should NEVER be year-round-school. Spend 9 months in an 8th grade month 8 you are inches away from a break-down.

~ Know now that when my own kids are middle schoolers they will not like me. No cell phone of their own. No skimpy skirts or inappropriate shirts. I will not call a coach to tell him/her that my kid needs more playing time. I will not tell a teacher that my child's poor performance is the teacher's fault. I will not hold drinking parties for my kids and their friends. I will NOT be the cool mom... (and will be thanked for it later...Thank you mama Julie!)