Maternity Leave and New Routines

We have now been "Weber Haus party of 5" for officially 7 weeks now.  This little nugget joined us on November, 22nd and he has been an absolute joy.  I am probably going to jinx us by typing this out for all to read, but he has the most calm little personality, sleeps at night, and doesn't mind a bit that his big sisters are constantly in his FACE with hugs and kisses.  He is exactly what our family needed at this time and I am so thankful that God chose us for this life.

I officially return to work on Monday and Billy will join his big sisters at daycare.  Returning to work has always provided an "opportunity" for us to adjust to a new way of life.

With Jackie I abruptly went from spending all day with her for four months to teaching and coaching for 10-14 hours a day.  Daddy became the master at feeding her mashed sweet potatoes and knowing exactly how she liked to be put to bed and our laundry sat unfolded until the weekend.

Katerina was a shock to my world since her morning wake up time was so unpredictable. It really threw off my "before work routine" when I didn't know what time she would wake up between 4:00 and 7:00 AM.  I learned how important it was to do as much as I could the night before; pack lunches, shower, and actually verbally ask my husband for help and not just stair at the back of his head hoping the "force" would somehow command him to vacuum the floor.

This time around I am attempting to get out ahead of some predictable obstacles baby #3 will provide a two-parent working home.  At least this time I'm heading back to work knowing that there is no real schedule his wake up time.  Back to packing lunches and showering the night before instead of morning.

The two areas I am most concerned about won't be surprises, but possible larger issues now that our family has grown.

#1: The continuous mess and clutter that seems to overtake our house on a daily basis.  During maternity leave I had all day to pick up and keep the house tidier than it has been in MONTHS.  I don't want that to leave, but I won't have all day to do it gradually.

Solution.  (At least the one we are currently working on.)  Getting everyone involved in helping clean up on a daily basis and not just Saturday mornings.  We have started a nightly "15 Minutes of Clean." This new policy made it's debut last week and I have to say, so far so good...  In the evening after dinner, I set the timer and we all (other than the baby) stop what we were doing and pick up or clean something.  This has helped make sure all toys and books are put away, coats hung up, shoes put in the box, and the kitchen is cleaned up in a short amount of time.  Everyone helps.  The girls quickly figured out that if they pick up faster they don't have to "work" the entire 15 minutes.  Tonight's clean took 7 minutes.

#2: The return of school stress:  I absolutely LOVE my job, but there are times it just consumes my head.  Granted some of this was probably preparing for maternity leave on top of normal teaching duties prior to Billy's arrival, but there are countless hours of loss sleep and extra weight on my shoulders during the school year.

Solution.  Keep work at school as much as possible.  You see, I love to change things up and do different activities, lessons, and incorporate different technology into my classroom from year to year. This semester I need to focus on good quality lessons and activities and making minor adjustments instead of completely re-writing my classroom curriculum.  This is easier said than done as I still have many new and exciting ideas running through my head.  I participate in a Twitter chat each week on Monday nights.  I love it, but I will be more selective of the topics that I want to participate in.

I have talked before about trying to strike a good balance between work and home.  It is hard.  It is ever-changing and I constantly doubt myself.  However, I do think I am getting better at it.  Better at seeing what needs my attention most at each moment.  And right now there are even more sweet moments that I'm soaking in before returning to work.

Holiday Traditions: The One We Won't Have

It's my favorite time of the year.

I just love the holidays.  I always have. And now that we have kids of our own, everything just moves to a whole new level of awesome!

There are so many neat ideas out there for creating lasting traditions and fun memories with your kids.  The girls already look forward to the family Christmas Eve gift of a new movie and PJs.

There is one tradition we will not adopt.

Ever.

Elf on the damn shelf.

https://goo.gl/1oZjQm

WHAT???? But he's soooo cute and your kids will act better when they know he's watching.

You see, for me the reason to say NO to that creepy little doll is a simple one.

I don't need something else to forget to do.

I burn my candle at both ends with (soon to be) 3 kiddos age 4 and under, teaching full time, and all the things that go along with being a wife, mother, and teacher.  I am picky about adding things to my plate, because I have to be.

I am not attracted to things that are just cutesy, silly, and "fun."  In order for me to want to add it into our lives it has to serve a purpose.  I love the idea of building our traditions around the kitchen.  Decorating cookies, creating different designs on the tops of pies, and learning lessons from grandma on how to make home-made noodles.  I will make time in our schedule for things like that. Things that teach my children something valuable.  Learning how to behave in the kitchen, wait your turn, and create a plate of goodies to share with family and friends.

I know that not everything we do has "value" and is a "learning opportunity."  But the those things don't need much of MY time and effort.  Disney movies are perfect forms of fun for my girls to watch that actually give me time to fold one of the 12 loads of laundry and fix dinner.  Hopefully in this process I am also modeling for my girls how to be both a mommy and hold a full-time job.  It is possible, but it comes with choices on what to do with the time we have.  I don't always make the best choice, but I know that moving an elf to a different spot each morning is an easy one to avoid.

This in no way means that I am judging the families whom Elfie is already formed in their traditions or those who can't wait to use him someday.  That's awesome and I enjoy looking at your pictures on Facebook each morning where Elfie ended up!  I'm just not going to set my kids up for the disappointment of Elfie showing up the first day and then forgetting.

Little Katerina

Happy 3rd Birthday, little one.

Although it won't be too much longer that we'll be calling you "little."  You are three-years old today. THREE!  Your daddy asked me the other night, when exactly did that happen.  You were so tiny just yesterday...

You were only two-weeks old when we nicknamed you "high maintenance" and you've lived up to every part of that name.  I was so excited for you to make your big sissy officially a big sissy that I wasn't prepared for how different from her you would be.

You are rock solid.  Confident.  Stubborn as all hell.

You refuse to be bribed.  Which makes it difficult to get you to do anything you don't want to do. I am sure I will have a much better appreciation of that trait when you are older. `

You haven't figure out yet that sleeping later than 6:30 AM is a good thing.  I'm hoping you pick up on that one soon.

Any request for food or drink from you usually involves sweets.  Candy, chocolate milk, or brownies are all acceptable breakfast items in your mind. You are less than thrilled when I tell you no.

You love ladybugs.

You hate any other bug.

You would swing all day long if daddy would push you.

Speaking of daddy.  You look just like him.  Blue eyes, curly, thick hair, and more silly faces than you know what to do with.  He is in BIG trouble if you ever figure out how wrapped around his finger you are.

You throw fantastic toddler fits, and HATE it when I tell you "no" or "not now" or "wait until after dinner."  Basically anything that doesn't grant you your request immediately is followed by sad eyes, tears, and screaming.  It's delightful.

You love puppies, kitty cats, and baby dolls.  So it's not a surprise that your favorite movies involve animals and babies.

You copy your big sissy in all that she does.  Making you a true Copy-Kat!  This means that you can speak full sentences, you know your shapes, animals, the ABC's and how to change a DVD.  I didn't teach you any of that.  Your sissy did.

You are a social little butterfly and make friends with little kids at gymnastics and daycare.  Your feelings are hurt when someone doesn't say "hi" back to you.

You are three! I love your little spunky personality and look forward to seeing who you become. I have my predictions of course, but I'll keep those to myself for now.

You will soon be thrown into the world of "big sisterhood" and your world will change more than you know.  I have no doubt that you will love having your little brother around, I'm not so sure how much you will love the amount of mommy and daddy attention he will need.  We'll tackle that issue when it comes along.

For now enjoy your time at 3.  As we have figured out...it won't take long until you reach 4!

Love Your Spouse Challenge

This last summer there was a little Facebook "challenge" that was going around like confetti.  The "Love Your Spouse Challenge."  Apparently you were supposed to post a picture or pictures (I can't remember) for 7 days to show all your Facebook friends how much you love your spouse.

I warned Ethan ahead of time, so his feelings wouldn't be hurt.

If someone "tags" me in the challenge, I'm not doing that.

Someone tagged me. And I didn't participate.

I didn't post for 7 straight days pictures that prove how much I love him.  I don't need to prove to anyone out of Facebook how much I love my husband.  He knows.  Because I tell him.

However, I did save the idea in the back of my head for this post.  The birthday post.  There are more than 7 pictures that are some of my favorite, and there are many more.

You see, as much as I don't feel the need to prove to the world how much I love him or how happy and fulfilled I feel like my life is because of him, it is fun to sift through 8 years of pictures of us and see how much our lives have changed.

Probably the first picture we ever took together!

Later that same year.  Ethan sporting his "No Shave November" look!

My favorite picture from our wedding, captured by my brother.
A little fuzzy, but it captures the happiness in our eyes.

Honeymoon in Rio de Janiero.  Again.  Happiness.

He was so excited to have a little baby to snuggle on his chest.
Probably his favorite position with a little baby!

Daddy for a second time.  Pure love.

All the things that he is teaching them.  I love watching him with his girls!

Shocker fans!

Napping with little Katerina.  Still Shocker fans!

Teaching the girls the best part of summer.  S'mores!

Smile!  He is one great dad.

I don't feel like we are a perfect couple.  We have our differences, but those are mostly minor.  Minor differences in personality.  We don't fight.  We disagree on this or that, get annoyed with each other, and have different opinions, but we don't fight.  We get a lot of things right.

We have fun. And that's what it's all about.  We laugh at the silly comments, faces, and dance moves our girls have inherited (mostly from him...).  We sit in awe as we await baby #3, a boy, and look at the life we have created so far knowing that we are blessed beyond what we deserve.  Looking forward to new challenges, knowing that facing them together is the only way.

He's turning 38 this year and doesn't look a day over 28 (unless you look really close for the gray hairs...but even those can be hard to spot.)  Some days he doesn't act a day over 18 and those are usually the days I laugh the most.

Mushy enough for ya?

Picking Which Battles to Pick

"You've got to pick your battles."

Probably the most common said parenting tip out there.  Fight the good fight, but only with the issues that really matter.  Otherwise you'll be fighting everything.  All. The. Time.

The advice is good.

The picking can be difficult.  Just which ones are "the battles" to fight?

I am currently in a battle with a 4 year-old.

A battle I very easily could have walked away from.  No biggie.  But I dug in.  She dug in.

And here we are.

Over a fork.

You see.  I asked her what she wanted for dinner.  Spicy chicken nuggets with ranch and chips was her request.  I forced her to pick yogurt or a salad to go with it instead of the chips.  You would have thought that would have been the bigger battle, but alas, she picked salad.  With ranch.

Ok.  Dinner made.  Easy chicken nuggets warmed up in the microwave and salad.  As the nuggets came out of the microwave I cut them into smaller pieces.  Something I do all the time.  I cut them with a fork.  Again, like always.

I put ranch on her salad and stirred it up.  With the fork.

Set her plate on the table same fork.

"Mom.  You got my fork dirty, I need another one."

Nope.  You're not dirtying up another fork.  There is nothing wrong with that one.  Eat your dinner.

Fast forward 15 minutes and the four-year-old has been banished to her room until she is done crying. I refuse to listen to her bawl because of a fork.  And I will NOT get her a "new" one.

You see, I struggle with the "pick your battle" on this one, because all of this could have been avoided by simply getting her a new fork in the beginning.  But I stand by my decision.  The fork was fine.  She doesn't need a new one and she is NOT THE CENTER OF THE DAMN UNIVERSE and needs to learn it.

I will pick the battles that teach our kids not to behave like horrible, bratty, "gotta-have-its."  That is not life. Hard lessons now, to hopefully save their teachers and bosses later.  This is not the first time I have battled with her over simple little issues.  Remember the orange?

Some adults whine and cry and throw fits when they don't get their way.  Ours won't.  And if by some chance they do, I will have this blog post as proof that I did not allow them to act that way when they were 4.

4 year old is currently eating her spicy chicken nuggets and salad.  I win.  And since I'm almost 9 months pregnant and can't have wine, I foresee a very large piece of pie in my future.

Truth.

I started this blog years ago as a journal for me to look back on.  I still love to go back and read posts from when I was first dating Ethan, to our engagement, and baby Jackie, now that somehow she is 4!

I want this to represent the truth of our lives.  The good, bad, and ugly.

Here's a little of our "truth" from last night.

It was apparently an emotional day.  I didn't get the memo until picking up the girls from daycare. They were fine at Miss Kathy's house, she gave them a thumbs up report for the day.  I had hope.

Then about half way down her drive way the tears started.

I don't remember why.

Something about wanting a snack or drink I think.  I told her she had to wait until we got home.

Wrong answer.  My bad.

Tears.

I threatened to make her get out and walk (the 800 feet) if she was going to keep crying.

She cried quieter.

Big sister started to cry.

Because she didn't want to listen to little sister cry.

Shoot me. 700 more feet until we're home.

Moods didn't improve from inside the house.

She wanted to sleep in her sister's bed tonight.  I said no.

She wanted to watch "Tinkerbell."  Sissy wanted "Zootopia."  I put in Paw-Patrol since they couldn't agree.

Bedtime in 3 hours and I'm 7 months pregnant and can't have wine.

Musings about Baby #3

As I approach the "home stretch" of the pregnancy with baby #3 I figured it was about time for a Weber Haus post dedicated to everything baby #3.  You see, he's been on my mind a lot lately...mostly because he is fills up a good portion of my body and is the direct cause of the doubled amount of toilet paper that we seem to be going through.

A boy.  I don't know what to do with a boy.  Some say they're easier, some say "watch out," but I do know that I was already excited for another baby and predicting a girl.  But when we found out baby #3 was to be a boy I was filled with such excitement that I didn't know was possible!  

There are things about having a 3rd baby that make me very excited.  Things like, watching the girls become big sisters and a little brother.  They are so good with their new little baby cousins, I can't wait to watch them dote on their own little baby.  I'm looking forward to becoming a parent in the "they outnumber you" club.  This gets me access to things like people assuming I know what I'm doing because this is the third time I've had a baby.  (I still don't...) but at least I will have less and less "advice" since the club is limited to those with 3 or more babies.  There aren't as many "experts" on parenting three or more children.  I will always have a legitimate excuse if we are late or flat out don't want to come to events.  The work required to get three children dressed, out the door, loaded in the packed vehicle, and be presentable out in public is something that people understand when I say I just don't want to do it!  Not to mention another little baby to snuggle!  I'm just so excited for the tiny little guy!

Don't be fooled... there is another side to that coin.  Anxiety about how a 3rd baby will change the life we finally seem to have somewhat a routine figure out for.  The modern society we live in is supportive of families with 2 or less children.  Don't believe me...look around a bit.  Vehicles are made to hold two car seats.  Laws keep getting changed to require longer car seat stays, bigger, more protective car seats, and vehicles are hard to come by that support three within parent reach in order to buckle them safely in.  Shopping carts are made for two kiddos at the most.  Some stores like Walmart and Dillon's have "kid" carts that help contain toddlers, but have you seen many that can accommodate three?  Nope.  Restaurants mostly seat for four.  Prizes for "families" to win anything is for families of 4.  Daycare costs and babysitting options become more than our mortgage.  

Not to mention the added person around the house will add diapers, laundry, dishes, and more toys to the already piling up loads of things needing to be done.  Kids are starting to get to the age to get some help out of them, but it has to be supervised help.  Otherwise we we end up with fighting, playing, and new messes when told to go "clean up your room."

We are doing what we can to prepare for this transition.  Jackie has been working on buckling herself into her car seat so she can be moved to the very back seat, where we won't be able to reach and help her.  We have already greatly reduced the amount of time we go out to eat and the locations that we are willing to take our kids.  Longer than a 15 minute wait...nope.   Money saved away for added daycare costs and thankful for only a few months of 3 kids needing daycare before Jackie will head off to Kindergarten. Daily work on completing "jobs" of picking up toys and clothes are improving their "picking up" skills.  

Planning for maternity leave still sucks.  This is the third time I will leave my classroom of 120 7th and 8th graders in someone else's hands and it doesn't get any easier.  There are very few times I wish I had a different job than teaching, but maternity leave is definitely one of them.  Trying to plan for lessons that will be taken over by another person, all the details that need to be explained, room organized, on top of the current things that need to be done in the classroom on a daily basis weigh heavy on a teachers mind, and heart.  I find myself wanting to make things as easy on me as possible and just purchase until plans from Teacher Pay Teacher sites, but then I feel guilty about the quality of lessons.  Oh to have a job that I could just leave for 8 weeks and not stress over.  While I love the initiative of those pushing for paid maternity leave up to a year...there is no way I could successfully do that without losing my mind to the stress of planning.

The baby room.  We have gone back and forth time and time again on how much "decorating" to do with a "boy" room.  The practical side of me knows that non of it matters.  We have the important things, crib, rocker, changing table, diapers, wipes, blankets...and so on.  Just the thought of the extra work required to paint the walls, purchase bedding, and give the room a proper "theme" makes me tired, let alone actually doing any of it.  We made a conscious effort to purchase gender neutral big baby items in order to avoid having to replace things.  BUT...it's fun looking at boy stuff.  We have decided (at least at this point) a simple red and blue sports room by using items we already have, hand-me-downs from family, and painting one wall of the room red.  We still have to put it all together, but just in case we don't get to it, we have the essentials!

Pregnancy a third time.  There are moments when I wonder what we were thinking.  We had a good thing going with the two girls, I was perfectly happy at pre-kids weight, and I could still drink wine.  Those thoughts seem to hit me the 6th time I've rolled out of bed in the middle of the night to pee or when I try to complete a simple task of putting on shoes or picking up laundry off the floor.  I keep reminding myself that the pregnancies get more uncomfortable but the births are typically quicker and easier.  I find some comfort in that...sometimes. 

Flip side of that coin.  Being pregnant is really cool.  At nights when I lean back in bed and watch him dance around in my tummy, or when the girls can feel him kick and jab away...just make my heart smile.  I am convinced that those moments are the ones we remember and miss when not pregnant, causing the desire to want those feelings again.  There is a certain adrenaline rush that comes from those swishing movements!

Luckily because we were blessed with two very different babies with the girls, I am very much aware that we will have no idea what to do with this baby when he comes.  Yes, we will know how to diaper, feed, and keep him alive, but as far as his likes, dislikes, and personality...we won't have a clue.  It'll be "back to parenting 101" for us. And at least this time we know it.  We know that we won't know anything about him and have to spend time figuring out what makes him smile, eat, and sleep.  I pray for a healthy baby who loves to be poked, prodded, and held by people other than me.  I have had the "mommy-clingy" baby with round 2 and I pray for a little "daddy's boy" this time!

Of course all of these are just thoughts that float through my head from time to time.  I am unbelievably happy and excited for this little one  to come and look forward to seeing what God has in store for him!