Our AJ: Stories to Remember

I like to imagine that there is a standing time in Heaven when God hands out the Gardian Angel assignments. Anglel gather around as He reads off the new babies and they cheer for each match enthusiastically. 

And then one day God said, "So, for this little 8 pound 14 ounce bundle, I'm gonna need someone who is ready for a challenge, but also someone who is ready to laugh, but don't get too distracted...you're gonna be busy. He's the fourth one in this little family (they don't know it yet, but he's not gonna stay their baby...but he's gonna be a super awesome big brother) and his name is AJ." And then some excited little Angel in the back yells "I got him!" 

I know that's kind of silly. But I do think God specifically picked out a guardian angel who has just stuck by our little AJ and done their best to watch over him. AJ just turned six at the end of February and I figured it would be a good time to share a few stories from our colorful little guy, who speaks his mind, wears every emotion for everyone to see, starts and stops each day with stories and opinions, one right after the other, and lives out his own imagination every day.  I know that some day he will grow out of many of these wonderful little traits and there is just no way to remember every little thing he does and says that make us smile...but I know I want to remember these. 

Enjoy. Stories told in order that they occurred and time stamped as much as I can remember.  

What Happens to an Apple: The first day of preschool, August 2023

AJ was signed up, ready, and waiting for his first day of preschool. He could hardly stand it, he was so pumped. Already filled with an extensive vocabulary, rolling eyes, and a severe hatred for being wrong...we were a little apprehensive as to how he might handle the social rules of school. Thankfully preschool teachers are masters of their craft and encounter many little four-year-olds and their range of personalities. We couldn't have asked for better teachers. 

My eyes got wide as his teacher came up to me after school right away. "I have to tell you what AJ said today in class." (Sheesh! Already?!?! It's literally the first day of school, kid!) 

"We were talking about what happens to food when we eat it. And I asked the class, what happens when we eat an apple? AJ proudly exclaimed, "OH! I know! After you eat the apple it goes down and then comes out of your penis!"

The teacher was looking for something more along the lines of landing in your stomach...not what happens after your body digests the thing. 

AJ, The Blue Jay Fan: Labor Day Weekend, 2023

This little story should serve as a reminder to us all just how the simple act of being kind, listening, and interacting with kids can have such an impact on them. 

Ethan decided that he wanted to start a new tradition with the boys. Each year on (or around) Labor Day he wanted to take them to Colorado for a Rockies baseball game. Ethan has been a Rockies fan since their inception and Billy quickly followed suit. AJ was still a little young to really "get into" baseball, but the atmosphere at MLB ballgames are just too cool. 

If you ask him if he enjoyed it, he will promptly tell you, "No." 

What he means is that he didn't enjoy the Loooooonnnnnggggg drive there. And it is quite a trip to Colorado for a, then 4-year-old. 

But he had a GREAT time at the ballgame. 

Not cheering on the Rockies. 

But chatting with the lady who was in the seat next to him. 

The entire game. She was so kind. So nice. And a Toronto Blue Jays fan. 

And now, so is AJ. Even when he got to go back to Coors Stadium the next year, he talked the whole time about how he would cheer on the Rockies while they were there, but ONLY since they weren't playing the Blue Jays this time. The Blue Jays were his favorite! 

So...be nice to the little chatty kid when you're at your next ballgame. You may just gain a new fan for your team! 

Sparky: September 14, 2023

This date is very specific because this event occurred the day before we had the twins. Ethan was working from home and my mom was here because we knew I might have to go to hospital any time. AJ was watching his show in our bedroom. 

At one point he comes out of the room and says, "I'm done for now, I turned off the TV" - Cool. And he went off to play. Ethan came up to take a shower and notices that the power is off in the bedroom. Something tripped the breaker, he went and flicked it back on. We didn't really thing too much of it. Other than I figured that AJ must have just decided he was done with the TV when it went off randomly. 

And then we couldn't find AJ. We searched and searched and called his name over and over. Finally we found him hiding in his closet. 

Again....we didn't think anything of it. He was just playing a game or being silly. 

It wasn't until I was in the bedroom looking for something on Ethan's side of the bed that I noticed something weird. Part of a charger cord that had been cut in half. Hmmmm....more investigating and I found many chargers and cords that had been cut in half... including a large power strip cord that was PLUGGED IN. Then I found the scissors. Rubber, yellow handled scissors with a BURN MARK in the center. 

All the pieces of the afternoon start to fall together. The TV getting "turned off", "something" tripping the breaker, AJ hiding... When confronted he did admit to cutting the wires with the scissors that he found on the night stand. And there was a SERIOUS talk about safety with scissors, what you do with them and don't do with them. And how we were very thankful that the scissors had a rubber handle! 

But it wasn't until a couple of days later when he was watching Tom and Jerry, that we realized he actually felt any kind of shock. He saw that Tom got some kind of shock on the show and how it buzzed him. AJ, loudly, proclaimed "Hey! That's what happened to me when I cut that wire" 

AJ and Axolotls: Sometime During Preschool 2023-2024, age 4-5

If you know of AJ today through my social media, you might already know that AJ loves the little amphibians called Axolotls. I swear that's a real word. Here's what they look like... 

AJ was first introduced to this curious little creature when his preschool class gained one as a pet. His name was Stitch. And when I came to pick him up from preschool the day that the class was introduced to Stitch, he was even more than a chatterbox that he usually was. 

Just bursting with excitement to tell me all about Stitch. 

"What kind of animal is Stitch?" I asked. 

"An Axolotl!" he said. 

"A what???" 

"Axolotl!" 

Ok...by the third time he repeated the word I was convinced that this was not a real thing. That they got some silly toy and his imagination was just running away with him. 

"No, mom! It's real. He eats bloodworms and lives in the water and has these "gills" that come out of his face." 

So, I did what any good mom does by that point. "Oh yeah, buddy?! That's neato!" And AS SOON as I got home, I opened up Google on my phone and used the voice search by repeating the same exact pronunciation that he used. 

Sure enough, up popped a description and picture of an Axolotl. Exactly as he described it. We searched youtube for any nature videos about Axolotls, some that he had watched at school that day already. And he couldn't wait to tell the entire family about Stitch. I was excited to watch everyone's reaction when they first heard "Axolotl". Much to my surprise, his siblings already knew about them from Minecraft. 

Since then axolotl's have been a regular in our home. I'm pretty sure he taught his kindergarten class, teachers, and friends all about the little guys. We even had an "Axolotl Themed 6th Birthday" and thankfully, because of Minecraft you can actually find things. I ordered a cute little 3D printed "axy" and put it on top of a pond cake. 

He does not have a live one at this point, even though he has asked. We're gonna wait a few years before we introduce "live" pets (if we ever do...I'm not sure I need another living thing around here). 

Dinner Time: Where The Points Are Made Up and the Score Doesn't Matter: Continuous and ongoing currently. Ages 4-6 and so on. 

When it comes to meal time and food that my kids like and don't like, it seems to change as often as the weather. They like one meal today, but not the same meal when I make it again a month later. The usual response to a meal from my lovely kids is the "thumb rating". Up or Down...even sideways for "kind-of-good" make a nightly appearance at our dinner table. 

Well, that wasn't good enough for AJ. He started giving out points. Two points here, three points there. But only if he likes what you make. And by "you" I mean "me." Since I make most of the food around here, I'm the one who gets all the points. 

AJ will remind, every now and then, will feel bad that mom is always "winning" and remind my husband that he could make dinner too. Unfortunately for Ethan, when he does cook, it's not often something that the kids like that much. So even when he does attempt to "play", dad just doesn't end up with many points. 

But it's ok...because the points don't matter and in the end he's just going to pick the one he likes the best. Which is mom. (For now...I am sure when he enters the pre-teen and teen era I will become much less popular with him.)

At the very least, I hope his guardian angel is thoroughly entertained while watching over our AJ. He keeps us on our toes, and we are never, ever surprised at what he may say or what story he may tell. We always just laugh and nod along. That's our AJ!

Cooking with Kids Around: A Survival Guide

I looooooovvvveee a good cooking show. Make it a competition cooking show with challenges and I'm usually hooked. Chopped...love it. Cutthroat Kitchen...Yes please! Master-Chef...I'm glued! And throw in Gordon Ramsay as the cherry on top. 

But I have yet to see the ultimate cooking challenge. 

Getting dinner on the table in 45-30 minutes with kids running around the house, one (or two 😉) who are in that especially clingy, leg-grabbing stage and won't leave you alone in the kitchen. BONUS points for doing it without drinking wine/beer, not using "adult words", then answering a phone call from your husband saying traffic is bad and you need to leave (mid cooking) to pick up the teen from ball practice, and answering rapid-fire questions from your 8-year-old who is in a current stage of asking really in-depth and specific questions.

Sheesh! I'm tired just writing that. But seriously...I'd watch that competition show! 

While that paragraph above may seem like an exaggeration to grab your attention...most moms reading that probably nodded along in agreement or thought of their own bonus point options to throw in. Because, while that may not be the exact scenario every night, any (or all) of those can pop up on my "Cooking Roulette" wheel every time I make dinner. Throughout my almost 13 years of cooking with kids around I have picked up a few tricks along the way to survive our own personal "Hell's Kitchen." 

So, I thought I'd share my list with you! 

SEND THE KIDS OUT: 

The one depends greatly on your own personal surroundings and weather. If the weather is tolerable for the age of kids and your area is safe enough...send them outside! Lock the door if you have to (which I have on occasion). Getting them outside is both good for them AND a blessing for you. You'd be amazing at how that 30-minute meal can come together in actually 30 minutes (or less) when the little buggers are not distracting you. If the weather is nice enough, I love to shoo my kiddos out the door with Rocky (our German Shepherd babysitter) while they play and wait for dinner. Or scream at the door for me to let them in. 

Down to the basement is another option, but there may not be a door to lock and keep them from coming back up. This can have the same desired effect. 

SCREENTIME: 

Whenever I start to feel guilty about amount of screen time my kids have had, I try to focus on the purpose. I do that by asking myself "What did I accomplish because of the screens?" If you used screentime as a way to do something productive for your family, the house, or yourself...then no guilt should be felt! Pop in a movie, give them the iPad, let them play Roblox on their Chromebook and get shit done! 

GIVE THEM A TASK:

Kids can help in the kitchen, and at surprisingly young ages. In this case, for this blog post I'm going to focus mainly on suggestions to keep them busy and out of your way. I will write another post on how we have tried to get our kids involved with cooking meals, specifically our Sunday dinners. For now, I'll stick with things that are helpful because they don't need your supervision and/or it keeps kids out of the way. So, this would be more for your younger kiddos. Big kiddos can do a lot more and be "out of your way" and actually helpful.  

Let them "help" by doing a veerrryyy simple job. My favorite one is to take frozen breadsticks and place them on the baking sheet. There are usually 5 or 6 frozen breadsticks or knots or pieces of garlic toast. Kids as young as two or three can pull them out of the package and place them on the sheet. (Good way to practice counting too). They could make a triangle with three pieces, a square with four, the letter A or I or E... I don't worry too much about the kids touching the bread, it's gonna be blasted at 425 degrees and it's fine. One time I gave little 18-month-old Jackie a bunch of pepper halves and told her to move them from a baggie to a bowl. She spent a good chunk of time just moving the peppers from one to the other. It doesn't have to be a "real" job...just something to get them involved in the food-making process. 

Jackie "helping" with peppers.

As they get a little bigger but still like to get in the way good jobs could be...pulling grapes from the stems, cutting Velveeta cheese with a butter knife into squares, placing silverware and cups on the table for dinner, and stirring the spaghetti sauce (slowly...make sure to tell them to stir slowly!)

For my crawling/walking littles...the ones who like to hang on your legs and fuss the entire time, I like to give them a "food toy." Stick with me...it works. I get them pieces of food that won't hurt them and will keep them occupied. Dry spaghetti is a great one. My all-time favorite is the end chunk of a head of broccoli. That big, thick stick end that you don't cook up (well, maybe you do...but we don't). Toddlers LOVE to play with it and the chances of them biting off a chunk is pretty low. 

Izzy playing with a piece of uncooked spaghetti.

EMBRACE THE CHAOS

Sometimes it just comes down to throwing your hands up, pouring a glass of wine and dragging a sobbing baby on your leg around the kitchen while you get it done. I find I use those "blocking out" skills I learned in basketball over 25 years ago keeping my 16-month old twins from attacking the hot oven as I pull out the casserole. Man, if coach could see me now! Ha!

Pull all the Tupperware out of the cabinet? Cool. 

Wanna bang some pans ln the floor? Sure. 

Here....lick this.

Again I say...where is this challenge on a cooking show? I've got a set of twins I could loan you for a day or two for filming. And a sassy kindergartener, and a question-asking 8-year-old, and an 11-year-old who will walk through the kitchen wrapped in a huge blanket to give you a hug while you try to pan-fry chicken strips, and a busy almost-teenager who needs a ride just as your water boils. The possibilities are endless! 

My last piece of advice. Know when it's time to just order pizza. :) 

Mealtime During Busy Time

However busy and exhausted we may be, one of the priorities that we've outlined for our family is to have homecooked dinners and eating as a family as often as possible. Some of this is out of necessity. It is WAY too expensive for us to eat out, even with the current price of groceries. It's also a preference. I like cooking and like providing meals for my family.

So here's how we make it work, in our current season. You can look at this as "what Jill does" or advice or just general tidbits about cooking family meals. Whatever suits your fancy! I am sure changes will be made as we progress into different stages of parenting. 

HAVE A PLAN

I have gone through various different methods of meal planning in the last 14 years of married life, but the one that is currently working for us is week by week. Each Thursday or Friday I start to figure out what dinners I want to make for the next week.

Why Thursday or Friday? Because my husband does the grocery shopping and I need to have the list ready to go. He usually goes Friday or Saturday mornings. He has been doing this since the pandemic shutdown and has kept at it. And let me tell you...this is husband gold! 

I start by looking at the upcoming week and what practices, games, activities, and/or other shenanigans we have going on. That helps me determine what type of meal is going to work for the day. Crockpot? Oven? Air Fryer?  Leftovers? All important questions for each day. I will, sometimes, ask the "peanut gallery" what meals they would like to have, but most of the time I just pick it. 

Then I write it out on a magnet list thingy to hang on the fridge. They look like this. 

The great thing about this method is that there's flexibility in the planning. If something comes up, like a basketball game added to the schedule on a Tuesday, it's pretty simple to swap dinners and/or freeze any meat we ended up not using. Those skipped meals usually make an appearance on the next week. No matter how you plan your meals, it really is the key to consistently getting homecooked meals on the table. 

WHAT TO PLAN: 

My goal is to have meals where 5/6 of the family will eat it. Now, there's a difference between "will eat" and "love." If I try to get caught up in making only the meals they "love" I wouldn't ever have one thing I can make that everyone "LOVES" and I would drive myself crazy. There is so much out there on what to feed kids, what not to feed kids. and you can really get lost in it as a parent. So I try to go back to what I remember as a kid. Simple, something meat/protein, starch, bread, and some kind of veggie and/or fruit. We eat a lot of broccoli at our house because the kids like it. I'll switch it up or try something new, but there's usually broccoli or corn served to give them a choice. (Don't come at me with "corn's not a veggie" I don't have time to care about online food feuds.)

I then try to mix up cuisines. One night something "Mexican", one night "Italian", one night "American" and so on. I visit my Pinterest and saved recipes on Facebook and Instagram to get ideas/inspiration for meals we haven't' had in a long time.  

Some nights I make two dinners, one for the parents and one for the kids. This will get some "eye rolls" from some...but stick with me. The reason is more about food waste and cost than it is just doing what the kids want. Food is expensive. Unfortunately the "better for you food" carries a higher price. There are some meals that my husband and I like that are more of a heavy cost to make. I'm not about to force my kids to eat it at that price. If they don't like it they can have chicken strips and mac and cheese. The other reason is spice. My husband and I like a good kick to our food and some recipes just won't do for the kids. Like chili. Our kids don't really like it, so I make chicken and noodles the same time I make chili. Everyone is happy, fed, and very little is wasted.

HOW TO MAKE IT EASIER

Most of my meals around here are a combination of "homemade" and "convenience." Simply to make this process a little easier. Cans of cream of "something", jarred spaghetti sauce, frozen chicken strips, minute rice, and packaged or frozen rolls/garlic bread are frequent fliers at this house.  There are very few meals that I make where everything is from scratch, and if I do make a meal that takes more of my time, I usually save it for a weekend when I know I'm more likely to have time to spread out the work and more helpers for the cleanup. 

Another tip I use throughout the week is to follow this rule from The Lazy Genius, "What can I do now that will make cooking dinner easier?" I try to find something that I can do either in the morning or at nap time that will make the crazy a little easier. Cooking dinner always falls during that "witching" hour of hungry school kids off the bus, tired and clingy babies just up from nap, and pickups/drop-offs for practices and activities. Anything I can do ahead of time like prep a salad, cut the veggies, chop onions, or get the casserole ready for the oven help. 

And lastly, thankfully I have a decent knowledge base of cooking. I know the spices for tacos, swaps for wine, chicken broth, and water, how to make a rue, and how to chop veggies in a timely manner. These skills aren't required for cooking...but the more you cook the better you get and the easier things are. I learned most of these from watching Rachel Ray's 30 Minute Meals and other cooking shows of the early 2000's. 

SERVING IT UP

While "family style" dinners are definitely prettier and more traditional, in this house, we go for functional over anything else. My home decor style is "what is the most logical place to put this item with a house full of kids" and our dinner serving style follows that rule. 

A bunch of serving platters and bowls at the table, just means that there are more dishes to do and it will take twice as long for everyone to get their food, AND THEN I'll have to cut the meat of a few of the kids. It just doesn't make sense. 

So we do buffet style, every night. I may put a veggie, bread, or fruit salad on the table, but most things are served up either in the pot it was cooked in or the container it will be stored in around our counter. We often pray standing in the kitchen so that the first kid through the line can start to eat without waiting for the last one to bring their plate to the table. 

SUNDAY DINNER

A staple in our home is Sunday Dinner. It is rare that we don't have a full, sit-down Sunday Dinner complete with grandparents and dessert. I love it. We have recently been working to incorporate our kids into various parts of the meal prep and that's truly made it a family dinner. I know that there will be days in our future that Sunday Dinner may get bumped...but I'm hoping to keep it as long as we can. The memories we make in the kitchen and around the table are ones I hope they cherish as adults. 

If you like posts like these...stay tuned. I've got another in the works about tips for cooking with a houseful of kids. :)

2025 Word of Focus

I will always be a "fresh start" and "goal setting" type of person. I just am. Whether I'm setting a goal for the number of kills I wanted for my Junior volleyball season, an amount of money I want to save during the summer for the upcoming year of college, or trying to figure out how to improve the project I did with my 8th graders last year... I just enjoy the challenge of trying to reach a goal and the feel of a fresh start. 

So, naturally, I love January 1st. 

Or 4th, 5th or 6th (whenever I get around to it...it's still January) 

This last year has found me really trying to embrace the chaos of life with 6 kids and a pretty solid age gape between the oldest and youngest. I've tried to be realistic in what I can expect of myself during this time. 

And that's hard. As someone who likes to improve and get better and see progress...those things have been slow. Understandably...but still slow. 

So as I approach the New Year, I'm using an old favorite. The "one word" of focus. In the past I've used words like "consistency" and "balance" but even those seem to be far reaching right now. 

So, for 2025 I'm going with "HOPE" 

In 2025 I hope to exit the fog of survival mode that I feel like I've been wading through this last year and a half. There are many areas that I need to improve, but none of that is possible when I can't see through the fog. I know that and I'm trying to be kind to myself in the middle of it...but it's hard. 

So I hope. 

Don't worry...this isn't a sad post. I'm doing fine...just tired. (And I'm really tired of that being my reply to everything...but it's just it. I'm tired) So I hope for more sleep...consistent sleep. 

And in an effort to try an improve my sleep we started working with the twins over break to make it through the night. That means shutting off the baby monitor and ignoring their cries. It's hard...but we're making progress. 

The next thing I'm doing to help with sleep is to try and improve the quality. That means cutting back on alcohol. I started "Dry January" today and see how I'm feeling come February. 

Sleep is priority #1 right now. And I'm trying to start small with little things (that I can control) in order to make changes to add upon. There's no point in trying to make changes in other areas of my life if I'm not sleeping well. It is amazing how the amount and quality of sleep can impact so many areas of our daily lives. I know, as a parent, there will always be interruptions...but we have to get past the interruptions every couple hours (for the last year and a half). We have to. 

I also hope to blog more. I've got some good ones about cooking and meal planning coming. :) 

Happy 2025!

12 months X Two!

We made it! The twins are ONE! A whole year. A whole 12 months. Amazing how 12 months can seem so long and short at the same time. (Actually 13 months by the time I finish and post this blog)

So, I thought it would be fitting to share 12 things about these two cuties! 

Times Two. 😉

1. It's still unbelievable at times. I've had quite a long time to get used to the idea of two babies at the same time, but throughout this year I still find myself stopping and staring at them amazed that there are two little smiles grinning back at me. Amazing. 

2. They are their own individual person. They have the exact same diet, home life, toys to play with, share bath time and nighttime routines. Yet they sit, crawl, babble and even poop differently. Gabe loves cars and makes the vroom sound, while Izzy reaches for blocks to knock down and books to tear apart. 

3. Izzy is mischievous, a pot-stirrer, and looooovveess to get into anything she's not supposed to. As soon as she knows she can't...she wants more. 

4. Gabe is more chill and finds himself the subject of many of Izzy's antics. 

5. While both babies enjoy both parents, Izzy will reach for and hang on daddy whenever given the opportunity and Gabe loves his mama. 

6. Gabe as 8 teeth. Izzy has 2. 

7. Consistent sleep still eludes us. On a good night I'll still get up 2-4 times. Other twin moms tell tails of how the cry of one twin at night will never wake up the other twin, no matter how loud. Not us. Not our twins. I feel like I can begin to feel someone normal and more like myself again if we can just get them to sleep better. It's rough...and add in the needs and activities of the big kids. I don't know if there's a way to express how exhausted I am. I just continue to thank God I'm able to stay home and don't also have to go to a 9-5 type job on top of the chronic sleep deprivation.

Cute picture to show how unbothered they are with the inconsistent sleep.

8. Everything is twice as much, twice as difficult, and twice the amount. I know this is kind of a "duh" statement, but I mean seriously everything. Two trips in from the car, two kids to try to feed, diaper, and get dressed. Two babies to watch in the bath. It all takes up soooo much time. So much more time than I thought it would. 

9. They weigh very close to the same but are built so differently that they don't look like the same weight. Izzy is a solid as a cinder block and Gabe is a long string bean. She had those cute little baby rolls, and he has about two inches on her in length. 

10. Gabe has an allergy to something. We made a visit on Saturday afternoon to the emergency room when his face ended up all swollen and puffy after eating some multi-grain/seeded bread. We now have an epi pen and are on the list to see the pediatric allergist in January. For the time being we're avoiding nuts and sunflower seeds until we know more. 

11. I'm not wishing time away, but I'm definitely ready for them to understand what I say and be entertained for 15 minutes by an episode of Bluey or Paw Patrol.

12. We have tried to be very practical with these babies. Their birthday gifts included clothes, sippy cups, and shoes. All things we would have bought anyway. Christmas will be the same. Halloween costumes are matching PJs that total 14$ (combined). At this point they won't remember it anyway. 

13. They LOVE playing with their siblings. 

14. They love outside time. And bath time.

15. Gabe falls asleep almost instantly in the stroller while Izzy is alert and sitting up taking in everything we walk by. 

16. I find that I'm loving revisiting my favorite little kid board books with the twins. Even funnier, I read them in the same cadence and emphasis that I did 12 years ago with Jackie. 

17. They are both in the beginning stages of trying to figure out words. Gabe does a good job attempting to repeat words and can make out recognizable sounds. Bye Bye, yes, and Papa are some favorites. Izzy doesn't really say anything specific yet, but has mastered "WOW" "Ohhh...what's that" (or at least that is what it sounds and looks like from her hand movements) 

18. Neither baby is walking yet. Izzy will probably be first, she has been on all the physical milestones. They are both really good (and fast) crawlers and I'm not in any rush for them to be walking yet.

19. Their favorite foods include yogurt, strawberries, and goldfish. They don't like scrambled eggs. 

20. They both have kept their blue eyes. This delights my blue-eyed husband as this brings the blues to a tie with the browns. 

21. We attempted the pools some last summer, and I'm looking forward to next summer when they're big enough for baby floaties so we can go a little more often. The pool has always been my secret weapon to a good nap time! 

22. Gabe got his first haircut at 13 months. No pictures of the process, he hated it and cried the entire time. But sure looks handsome with a fresh cut. Izzy's hair isn't quite long enough for little ponytails yet, but that doesn't stop me from trying :)

23. I still hate cutting fingernails. And I have to do it twice as much. Ugh! 

24. Life at Weber Haus is very scheduled. As you can imagine, it takes a good chunk of time to get everyone out of the door on time and with everything. Luckily I'm pretty good at organizing and thinking/planning ahead. As a "type A" person, I've always liked a good plan and schedule and this helps with 6 kids ages 12 years to 13 months. And I HATE last minute or "go with the flow" type of activities. Pick ups and drop offs are scheduled down to the minute and include the number of kids/car seats involved. Changes or delays cause me to become stressed, anxious, and cranky very quickly.  If everyone and everything can just run on time, that'd be great. 😜

There you have it. 24 things about our life with twins right now. I promise I want to blog more. I have so many posts running around in my head. But, as with everything that I don't get done, I'm gonna blame it on #7 on the list above and hope that I get the motivation to type more often!

Learning How to Study

I've had this idea for a blog post in my mind for a while now, and I figured with the start of school fast approaching (or already here for some) it was a good time to throw this out here. 

Because of my prior experience as a teacher I can feel very confident it sharing with you all, 

Most kids (even high school students) have no idea how to study. None.

I taught both middle school and high school students and they really have no clue. High school Juniors who have either never had to study (because things came naturally easy) or never really tried would be absolutely stunned when they scored poorly on a test... "But I read over the study guide before class, while listening to my music on high volume on my earbuds" - - Sigh - - Or never even looked at the study guide provided.

I vowed to make sure my own kids learn how to study.  

Up until last year Jackie, my oldest, hasn't needed to study much at home. Elementary school typically provides opportunities to study at school with a class game and study guide. Jackie hasn't really been challenged to need the extra study time at home. That changed when she started 6th grade. Her science teacher was/is tough. 

This is a GOOD thing. Our kids need to learn how to struggle through something, they need to learn that they are capable of hard things, and sometimes they need to fail (or get a D) to realize that they need to do more. I am so thankful that Jackie had these opportunities last year because she learned so much more than her science curriculum. 

I'm going to share that story with you, and then I'm going to give you our method for studying for her science tests (this will work for any subject). 

Her science teacher really did give the students what they needed to succeed, and helped parents stay informed. Students knew a week (at the beginning of the year) and at minimum 3 days in advance of a test. They did vocabulary flip charts (or notecards), had a review sheet, and did a quiz bowl study game the day before. When it came time for Jackie's first test, I told her what I recommended she do to prepare. She was adamant that she was "fine" and could study her own way. 

So I said ok. 

The results of that test were less than stellar. She did her best to try and "pretty it up" but crap painted gold is still crap. We had a good discussion about expectations and how we should want to set ourselves up to do the best we can. 

This was a slippery slope that I attempted to navigate carefully. I have seen how too much pressure and the expectation of "A's" all the time can impact the stress and anxiety of teens. But I needed her to understand that we expected her to do her best each time, and that she had missed the mark on this one. We do not expect straight A's from any of our kids...learning is key. Learning both content and skills. Jackie was now required to study with me and do things my way, until she was able to identify how she studies best. 

Here's what that was. 

#1: If her teacher allowed (which she did), Jackie was to make vocabulary notecards not that flipchart thing. I don't like those to study with...they are fine as an assignment, but as a study tool, not great. From that point on, it was notecards. - - I am VERY Thankful for her teacher allowing this, even though Jackie chose to phrase it as "my mom hates those things" (eyeroll)

#2: Paper/Pencil study guide. NOT online. She had the option. The teacher printed off copies and had the guide online to complete there and students were given the choice of which one to complete. Jackie was not allowed to do the online version. It had to be paper pencil. - - People, kids will pick the easiest option if given the chance. You know what they do with online study guides? Copy/Paste. Unless you are physically sitting there watching them, that's what they do. Paper/Pencil (ESPECIALLY as middle schooler.) - - She was required to be done with the study guide and know her notecards by the final day left to study. So if the test was Thursday, she had to know the information by Wednesday. This was usually not a problem because she had to have the guide done by a certain day for class.

#3: Videos on YouTube. There is an immense amount of information online. Using that to our advantage was helpful. I would search the main topic of their unit and video for 6th grade. An Example: "Weather Systems for 6th grade" - - Then I would pick 3-4 short videos.... I would briefly preview them looking for key words from her study guide. Jackie would watch each video and then rank them in order of best to worst (not in "entertainment" factor but how well the video explained the information from her unit) and then she had to tell me why. - - This would happen usually two days before a test. HINT...adding "for kids" at the end of a video search will find content explained in simpler terms. Very beneficial for more confusing topics.

#4: GOOGLE! This is where my teacher skills come in handy. I am a very good "Google-er" - - I would search for science tests of that topic. (I want to be clear. I was not looking for her teacher's test...she makes it herself anyway I think...I was looking for examples of higher-lever test questions on the topic.) You would be amazed at what you can find. Complete tests, sample questions, diagrams to label, and photos or graphs to analyze. Again, using the study guide I would find a few to make Jackie sit down and complete. Sometimes the answers were provided for me, sometimes we had to discuss it together....either way, the point was to get her thinking about the topic on a deeper level. More than just recalling the vocab definition. Teacher Pay Teacher is a good option here as well. I never paid for any, but you can find free tests and preview some to get question examples. This was by far, our most valuable study night before the day of the exam. Then I would usually tell her to watch the best video one more time before class the next day. 

I know this may seem like a lot, but in reality what I am trying to teach my kids is to spread out the work. Do a little each night rather than cramming the day (or hour) before. Look at the material in a variety of ways, read it, watch it, play a game, answer discussion questions...just interact with the material differently. Your brain will like it! It took much longer the first few times we did it than it did in April, at that point she knew the routine.

By the end of the school year, she was consistently earning B's on her tests and finished the year with her best score ever. This, not only left her feeling confident for the rest of middle school (with the same teacher), but also found her admitting that once she figured out the system it was much easier! 

Translation: Mom was right! :) 

Remember. Every kid is different, they all have strengths and weaknesses...how can we help the figure out how to use those strengths and talents to overcome or improve their weakness? This method may not work for everyone, or even each of my kids...but I know that we'll keep trying to figure it out as we go.

FAQ: Working Mom or Stay At Home Mom: Which is Harder?

 A "non-twin" question that I get asked most often is which one is harder? 

Stay at home mom or working mom? 

I will start out this by saying that I think when moms/society debate this question it is completely ridiculous. This is way too subjective of a question and depends entirely on the unique factors that make up the individual's home, personality, season of life, skills, strengths and weaknesses. There is no "one-and-done" point to be made for either side. 

So....with that said. 

From what I've seen in my own journey from a (teacher) working mom to a stay-at-home mom, both are hard. 

I'm gonna say that again. 

Both. Are. Hard. 

But...the unique circumstances lead me to say, that at this season of my life with 8-month-old twins, and big kids ranging from 5-12, being at home is 1000% easier than trying to stay as a working mom would be. 

Reasons being (listed in no particular order) 

My previous job as a teacher was physically and emotionally demanding. I LOOOOOVVVVEEEEDDD teaching and I did it well. But don't let that fool you...just because someone makes it look easy doesn't mean that it is. It was WORK. The amount of energy that it takes to command a high/middle school classroom in a way that decreases behavior issues, encourages student engagement, and includes high standards of learning for the students is W-O-R-K.  Had I been employed in a profession that was mostly sitting at a desk throughout the day, the transition to staying at home would have been a culture shock for my body. Because I was so active in my job, the shift to staying home has been, at times, less "on the go" physically. 

The mental shift and stress are MUCH less. No longer do I have to completely shift my thinking (sometimes multiple times a day) from history lessons or my classroom to-do list, to dinner and the kids' ball schedule. I can focus on one thing only...it's still a lot. Managing the schedule of a family of 8 keeps me busy...but at least I don't also have to fit in 12-hour parent/teacher conference days, IEP meetings, and testing deadlines. My stress level is so much less. I had no idea how much stress I was carrying in the day-to-day of teaching that it had become such a normal part of who I was. August had me shocked with how little stress I felt, and that has continued. Sure there are stressful parts to parenting, but I have consistently felt so much better with the lower stress in my life. I swear that my postpartum recovery went so well because I wasn't worried about how many days I had left on maternity leave and filtering through emails from school. 

Time. I have so much more time to get things done at home. Don't let that fool you...currently I still have 4 loads of laundry to take care of, bathrooms that need cleaning, closets that need organizing, and floors that need vacuumed and mopped. BUT...I no longer have to squeeze those things into a two-day weekend (which has other activities and things going on). PLUS...while I'm still behind on laundry (is it ever done though??) I'm only behind four loads instead of 10. I have all day and there isn't the pressure to get it all done at the expense of my family time. 

Piggy-backing off of that one...the "Sunday Scaries" are NO MORE! What are the "Sunday Scaries?" Just that overwhelming pressure to fit in as much as you can on the weekend and have EVERYTHING ready to go Monday so the week starts out right. I wasn't ever "scared" or dreading Monday school days. I loved teaching and loved my job, but that rush of the weekend to fit as much as possible was strong it made even little trips to grandma's and grandpa's house tainted with the knowledge that I was missing out on time to get my house ready to start the week. The weekend is just another two days and life continues along with the uncrossed items on my list onto the next day. That feeling is amazing! 

My perfectionist-gotta-get-things-done personality makes for a very difficult working mom life. It's never enough. There's always something not finished and to "sit and rest" only stresses me out more because there's always something I could be doing. This personality trait is difficult enough to combat while staying home, but man...it would be even more difficult to add in the expectations I have for myself in the classroom as well. I wouldn't be able to continue teaching they way I would want and would be doing a terrible job at both mom and Mrs. Weber. 

I can't tell you how many times I have thought "thank God I don't also have to try to teach today." We are in the THICK of it with an over-tired baby boy, a teething baby girl, less than two days of school left, and summer ball games already ramping up. Good sleep eludes us as we try to take advantage of the nights were I only have to get up four times. (Yup...you read that right.) It is rough and I am beyond exhausted...but at least I don't also have to teach tomorrow. Because, Lord knows, it wouldn't be good. In fact, things at home would be worse too. Staying home allows me to be the fully best mom I can be at that moment. Even if the moments come with chicken nuggets with a little side of cranky. :) 

Inevitably the question that follows the "which is harder?" ask is "Do you plan to go back to teaching when the twins are in kindergarten?" 

That one I'm leaving open. If there's anything that this blessed life has taught me, it's that plans change. Desires change. Family needs and dynamics change. At this moment I'm enjoying life as a full-time mama. I do know that if I go back...I can do so on my own terms. Maybe I'll sub? Maybe I'll be a para? Maybe I'll just enjoy the opportunity to be more involved in the home/school network. Who knows??? We'll see what happens and how I'm feeling when that time comes. Until then, I have dishes to do an laundry to fold in the last few minutes of this glorious nap time! :)