Lent. An Opportunity

As a kid, Lent was always a time when we would "give up stuff."

I didn't really understand the true reason why.  In elementary school, I knew it was something we did for church.  Middle school, I still knew it was for church, but it was also a challenge.  By high school I had grasped the concept that it was supposed to be a sacrifice.  That's about it.  Church and sacrifice.

Now that I'm an adult and have wrapped my brain (and heart) more around my faith, I understand it better.  It's not just 40 days of giving up stuff.

It's an opportunity.

An opportunity to improve your life.  To become more like Christ.  To better yourself in any way.

Here are the opportunities I am seizing these 40 days:

The opportunity to grow in my calling as a wife and mother.

I am giving up social media from the hours of 4:00 to 8:00 in the evenings.  (Except for Mondays when I participate in two Twitter Chats on education.)  I know, there are people who give up Facebook/social media the entire time.  That's not what I'm going for.  The purpose of this isn't to stop using social media. It's more me to stop using it in the precious few hours that I have awake with my kids.  For me to use those four hours in the evening to be a mom, be productive, and timely with my tasks.  Doing dishes and cleaning up after dinner would be a lot faster if I wouldn't stop to scroll through Facebook, or get stuck watching Tasty cooking videos.

The opportunity for me to grow in my faith.

I am going to read a book.  I usually only really read books during the summer.  This one is different. My mom gave this book to me.  The Kansas City Diocese gave out these books free to all the parishes to distribute to their congregations.  My mom picked one up for me and said it was a good read.

The opportunity for me to be a servant to others.

I started a Random Act of Kindness journey this year.  I would like to finish it.  Little surprises that bring joy to others.

The opportunity for me to pass on the traditions of Lent to my children:

TV is off.  At least until after dinner.  Since colder weather has been upon us, it has become almost routine for me to ask the girls "what movie do you want to watch when we get home," as we drive the seven miles home from daycare.  They pick a movie, and then another, and another until bed.  It has been helpful to me and entertaining to them.  But, I am promoting bad habits.  TV on while we eat instead of focusing on conversation and good table manners. Girls sitting in front of the TV while I work around the house, instead of involving them.  This will be their first official "Lenten penance." A chance for them not only to see what we do, but participate as well.

I pray for a successful and meaningful Lent.  I pray that I am a better wife and mother, mindful of how joy spreads in the smallest ways, and more faithful.

Blessings to all this Lenten Season!

Murphy's Law for Parents

If you sweep the floor...
They will drop a box of cereal and crunch it into the ground.

If you vacuum...
They will want popcorn

If you take them shopping with you...
They will scream and run around like bandits thinking that might convince you to get them "just this one thing."

If you get dressed up...
They will throw up on you.

If you do your hair and wear it down...
They will want to brush it.

If you wear jewelry...
They will rip your ears off.

If one kid touches the toy...
The other kid will become a "master manipulator" to get said toy.

If you buy them a cute play dress in a moment of weakness...
They will never ever ever want to take it off. Ever.

If you change the sheets...
They will pee the bed.

If it is bedtime...
They won't want to go to bed.

If it is time to get up...
They will want to sleep.

If it is a weekday...
They will sleep until you come and drag them out of bed.

If it is a weekend...
They will be up by 6.

If you take the stroller...
They will want to walk.

If you need to cook dinner...
They will want to be held.

If you get take-out...
They will play quietly for hours.

If they ask to call grandma and you say "sure, let's do that."
They will sit quietly and refuse to talk.

That Would Be GREAT... if

Yesterday, I posted about us trying to raise independent little girls.  In some ways I would say that we are succeeding.  They are both so excited to try things on their own, and super excited when they are able to.

However, this has also made for some frustrating moments when I have to remind myself of the overall goal.

To raise independent, strong, confident women.

That will be great...

If I can survive it with any of my sanity.

For example.

Jackie LOVES to help do the dishes in the sink.  That would be great... if it didn't result in soapy water dripping down the side of the counter and into a big pile on the floor.

She also wants to take her dishes to the sink after she is finished eating.  And that would be great... if she didn't accidentally drop the bowl with soup broth all over the floor.

Katerina is definitely in the "by myself" stage.  Her favorite thing to do right now (since we are potty-training) is dump her little potty of pee in the toilet herself.  That would be great... if she actually got the pee into the toilet.

They love to help me cook in the kitchen, which would be great... if it didn't quadruple the mess I have to clean up after. **If I can have some success with the above dishwashing this might end up less mess for ME to have to clean up.

Jackie wants to sweep the floor... Awesome.  If that didn't end up with her swinging the broom from side to side and knocking off the bag of chip crumbs to the floor.

Katerina tries to put her coat on by her self.  Upside down and backwards every time.

Jackie wants the independence of NOT having the child lock on the inside of her door.  (Yup.  I lock her in her room at night.  Parent of the year.)  We tried it, and I would continue to allow her that independence if she would stay in bed later than 5:30 AM.  She will find the lock back on her door tonight.  I am sure the fit she is going to throw will be epic.

Remember the goal.  Strong.  Independent. Confident.

I am adding survival to the list.

Independent. Strong. Confident.

Ethan and I are doing our best to raise independent children.  Children who can do things for themselves, by themselves, and occasionally for others, and by "others" I mean that to also include us, their parents.

The ultimate goal of this is long term.  I would rather not have 30-something adult children living in my basement, I want them to be OK living on their own, fending for themselves in our unsafe and unpredictable world.

I know.  I'm a monster.

I saw a meme while scrolling through Facebook one day that said "If your child can run an iPhone, they can run the laundry machine."

Yup.  That about sums up everything right there.  Earlier this week, Jackie (my 3-year-old) took the iPad, found the music app, located the specific Taylor Swift song she wanted to listen to, played it and turned up the volume for the entire house to hear.

She is three.

If she can find "Bad Blood" in a field of other music songs on a device that took me months to figure out.  She can help around the house, and her two-year-old sister isn't far behind.

So their list of "to-do" just got a little longer.

I just have to be able to survive the "teaching them how to do this stuff" part, so that I can get to the "nagging them to death" pre-teen and teen years.  But I will succeed.

Because I am independent, strong, and confident.

Worth It.

So, I stood on the scale the other day.

Hmmm... right at the top (if not a pound or two over) my 5 lb. bubble I like to stay within.

Really?  I thought.  I've been eating pretty normal during my meals and sometimes even forgetting my afternoon snack when I've been busy.

It's too early in the monthly cycle to blame the extra poundage on bloating.

Hmmm...

I casually mentioned this to Ethan while watching Netflix the other night.

"I'm just not sure why..."

And then I looked in my hands.

At the bowl of ice cream I was enjoying.

OK...it was my second bowl.

Oh, there it is...

Two weeks ago we got a great idea to try making different flavors of homemade ice cream.  We decided on fresh peach, chocolate peanut butter, and traditional vanilla.

They all turned out SO GOOD!

I have decided that it is an appropriate sacrifice to be a little higher on the scale to enjoy the creamy goodness of homemade ice cream.  :o)

Confessions From a Summertime SAHM

I spend 9 months out of the year as a working-mom.  I choose to spend my days with 13 and 14 year old teens.  (I really should start recording people's reactions when I tell them this...I get some doozies!)  Each year in May I get a 3 month "break" as I become a Summertime Stay-At-Home-Mom.

PS...did you know SAHM stood for Stay At Home Mom?  I just learned that!

Here's how that went.

I started the summer with a goal of organizing and cleaning out each room in the house.  I gave myself a realistic timeline of one room per week.  I did really good at the beginning and knocked off the master bedroom, kitchen, girls rooms, and master bathroom.  That's when productivity dropped off...  Looking back, I should have started with the basement toy area, office, and storage room.  I sorta half-assed the toy area and just tried to avoid the other rooms downstairs.  I like to think of it as...if I don't look at it, it's not there.

Jackie enjoyed her gymnastics class and it seems to be doing exactly what I wanted.  She has progressed to letting me watch outside the glass with the other parents.  Although we still struggle with following the "obstacle course" on her own, she is getting better.  A bribe of popcorn if she listens to her teachers has worked well!

Katerina has not yet figured out the "bribing" technique.  Either she's just not realized the reward for doing what she's told, or she's just not going to be motivated that way.  I really hope she catches on soon.  The bribe is the only tool in my "Mommy of toddlers" tool belt.  I really don't want to have to read any parenting books for other techniques.

I read more books this summer (not parenting ones) than I have in the last two years combined.  I don't regret a single nap time spent with my nose in a book.

I took my kids to the Y almost everyday so I could drop them off at the Kid Zone for two hours while I walked, read, worked on school stuff, or just ate a granola bar with out the little ones pleading and screaming for a bite.

I experienced the paradox that is sand.  I love how it keeps my girls entertained for hours and I loath the bath tub when trying to get it out of their hair and diaper...

Toddler girls have stinky toots.  It helps when I need someone to blame mine on... (I can't be the only mom who does this.)

The hot summer days call for chilled white wine after the kids go to bed.  This summer Ethan and I enjoyed trying different brands to cool off with.

We don't use our oven from May to September...I'm ready for some gooey casseroles and cheesy enchiladas!

If I could figure out how to keep the housework caught up during the school year as I well as I do during the summer I would write one of those parenting/mommy books.

All the Dad's in my Life

I am one blessed lady.  So are my girls.

While some people struggle to have even one positive male figure in their lives, we have three.

Here's a little tribute to them.

The Father of my Children.  Ethan.  Daddy.

They say that you'll never love your husband more than when you see him become a daddy.  That statement is truer that true.  There's nothing but pure love in his eyes when he holds his little girls.  Although he hopes someday for a boy, he is well aware that God may just think that we are good with girls and bless us with a houseful.  Doesn't matter to Ethan.  I hope our girls look for the qualities that Ethan possess when they consider who to become friends with, who to date, and who to marry.

Daddy for the second time. Same loving look.

Daddy's girl.

A daddy lesson...How to make S'mores.

See...she looks just like her daddy, right down to those blues.

Ethan was so excited when Jackie turned out to be a "daddy's girl."  She just always wants daddy. Katerina has been more of a mommy's girl, but is more recently starting to hang on daddy more.  Kat is the spitting image of him.  Every time she smiles I see it.

I can't wait to see how their relationships continue to grow.

Dadio.  Gamimi.

I always remember my dad as a busy guy.  If he wasn't working at the power plant he was busy out in his "shop."  He always had a project to work on, something to fix, or just futzing around.   He spent years planning and building his outdoor shop.  It is packed full of tools, gadgets, lawn mowers, and most recently, a fully functioning bathroom.  He never has to leave.  Mom texts him when dinner is read.  I never thought I would see that!

Dad and me painting the toy-box that is now in our basement.

He would sing made-up songs with silly words, such as "Dad is great, he gives us chocolate cake..."  (that particular song was sung when mom happened to be out of town for a night and he was in charge).

Even his grandpa nick-name comes from the silly words and sounds he would make.  Always cooing and saying goofy things to Jackie when she was a baby caused her to start calling him one of her favorite words.  Gamimi.  Even Katerina is starting to catch on, saying "mimi" when she sees him.  He forever stole the girls' hearts with doughnuts in the mornings and swings he fashioned in his shop out of an old car seat.

The first granddaughter.

The second granddaughter.

That car seat swing!

"Papa"

My Father-in-Law is hard to describe.  If you need something fixed, he can do it.  If you need to build something, he can do it.  If you need help on harvest, he is probably already doing it.  I have never seen anyone with such a creative mind.  I once saw him fix our well with a pop beer can and duct tape.  Seriously.  He would just drive his truck over and whatever you need, it's in there.  Talk about a stocked vehicle.  The back is packed with tools and items that you could ever think to need.  It's amazing.  Ethan and I have often joked that you could park his dad's truck in my dad's shop and they would never leave.  Ever.

He loves to spoil his granddaughters with a new dolly on their birthday.  He spends hours searching for just the right dolly for each girl.  He's up to finding four dollies each year.  Who knows how many more he'll end up with. :)

My Mother-in-Law told me early on that "Bill has a way with babies.  They just love him."  Oh was she right.  I don't know what he does, but both of my girls just light up when he comes over, and constantly want to go to Papa's house.

Jackie's first tractor ride.

Papa and Jackie.

Papa and Katerina, a few hours old.

As I said before.   We are some lucky ladies to be surrounded by so many incredible dads.  On this Father's Day and all the other days of the year, I hope they know just how much we love them.