Pregnancy: Singletons vs. Multiples

I am learning so much being pregnant with twins. I've had babies before, been there, done that. But this is different, and some the same. I thought it would be an interesting post to compare the experiences between having one baby (singletons) and twins (multiples). Plus, one of the most common questions I get asked is "is there a big difference between pregnant with one and pregnant with two?"

I would say, that the biggest difference, at this point, is timing. Everything just happens sooner. In all of my pregnancies I have struggled to sleep. With each one the struggle just happened sooner. I can remember when I was pregnant with AJ (fourth one) the struggle to sleep really hit around Thanksgiving time. With three months to go and with Jackie (our first) the last month was a struggle. With the twins...I haven't had a good night sleep since the end of April. I always say that I sleep better with newborns than pregnant (better, not more). Currently at 27 weeks pregnant a typical night will see me wake up 6-9 times, little to no REM or deep sleep, and maybe 4 hours of total added together sleep. (And that's not an exaggeration...I now have a watch that tracks it)

Belly Growth: I was actually surprised at how long it took for me to start showing or needing to wear larger clothing. I figured with twins it would happen sooner...but instead it was closer to week 14 or 15 before I could really tell. But where there was a difference... rapid change, not gradual. I went to work on a Friday with my regular jeans on, no real problem and on Monday I couldn't button them and had to wear leggings from that point on. I definitely "popped" and it seemed to happen overnight. Now, right at the start of the 3rd trimester I feel huge...and I still have a good 10 weeks to go! The babies are moving constantly and our older kids are LOVING getting to feel them wiggle and kick!

Morning Sickness: I count myself very lucky that I didn't experience much consistent nausea with my other pregnancies. I would have little moments here or there, but nothing that was constant. Twins was a different story. I felt like I was going to throw up all day (but only did a handful of times). This lasted from about week 9 to week 15ish. And I was not a fan. 

Ice Cravings: Give me ALLLLLL the ice in our freezer. That is all. 

Food Cravings: I don't really have any specific cravings other than fruit. I want my sugar to come from fruit. Don't get me wrong...I will still have a slice of cake, but I don't crave it like I want grapes and watermelon. There is a cutoff though. I have to be done eating really early in the evening. I need to be eating by 5:30 at the latest right now. I'm sure as I get to the biggest part of my pregnancy where those babies are taking up even more space, that time will only get earlier. It is the most bazar thing to not be able to lay down to sleep because you still haven't digested your dinner you at 4 hours ago. This includes drinking water too. I get so thirsty at night, but can't drink because if I lay down to sleep the water will literally come right back up my throat and I'll puke. 

Exhaustion: This is probably the #2 worst symptom that I experience. It's embarrassing how little I have to do to need a break and sit down to rest. Or how just walking up the stairs makes me breath heavy like I just did a workout. I know...I know...I'm growing two tiny humans inside my belly and it's all understandable...but still very weird to get used to. I'm not THIS out of shape, but boy do these babies make me feel it. The lack of sleep doesn't help matters either.

Chronic Nasal Congestion: And here we are with my #1 pregnancy problem. My nose...or at least one nostril is stuffed close at all times. When I FINALLY get relief and it clears out, the other side soon clogs. It's maddening. And nothing works. There's no pill that relieves it and no spray that clears it. This happens throughout the day and night (which may be more of my sleeping issue than trying to find a comfortable position or having to pee all the time). I am constantly fighting with my nose. It hurts and is unbelievably annoying. I had this with my first pregnancy (Jackie), but it hadn't made a repeat appearance since. All the twin information I've read said it's more common with twins because of the hormones and blood flow needed for two babies. 

Since my first baby I haven't ready up each week tracking growth and progress, but with two I've done my fair share of reading up on what to expect with the pregnancy, birth, and life with infant twins. One thing that I seem to keep running into is how it seems that so many of these twin bloggers either only had twins and stopped, or just had one other child. I am finding it difficult to find people in similar situations as our family dynamic. Four older, very active, kids who are on the go. All the "sit and rest" and "take a nap" advice doesn't really work when you're running kids from swim practice to eye doctor appointments and the four-year-old asks for another drink/snack/anything the second your close your eyes. When I think about anxiety about having twins, it's not the babies that really cause me to worry about handling it all...it's ALL of what we already do as a family of 6 and adding two more to that mix. I know we'll figure it out...but a lot of the advice and suggestions out there don't work for us. I'm sure there will be more on this topic later...maybe I'll be that person who has suggestions for families like ours. 

For now, I'm going to go chomp on some more ice cubes before I pass the point of the night when I can't drink anything. It is amazing how after birth these symptoms of frequent urge to pee, not being able to eat late, and the stuffy nose just seem to disappear overnight. Which is a good thing...because I'll be busy enough with the things that replace it! 

Twin Story: Finding Out

It's not every day (or ever??) that a priest laughs at you while in the confessional...at least not aloud. 

Yep. Happened to me. 

Allow me to explain.

Every time I tell this story I start out with... "2023 came in as a HOT mess." I just kept telling Ethan that this would be a time we would look back on our story and talk about how crazy it all was. But in the midst of it...there were (and are still) times it was very difficult, for both of us...for a variety of reasons. 

At the end of January we found out that Ethan (along with many others at NetApp) would be laid off in a companywide (global) reduction in force. This was something that always sat in the back of his head and a fear. Things had been good, for the most part, during the pandemic, but lately the tech world was struggling. This brought on all kinds of conversations about where we might end up. We didn't want to move (hellooooo interest rates) but knew it may be a possibility. Other than telling family, we kept this pretty close to home and didn't share the news to many. He started working to update his resume and LinkedIn while I did my best to try and be supportive in any way. I did tell my administration that there may be a chance that I'd have to leave due to moving locations if it came to that. I didn't want them to be surprised. 

A week later, as a way to "rule out potential stress" I took a pregnancy test. I didn't really think I was pregnant. I figured I was stressed and getting older so my cycle was a couple days late. I didn't have any symptoms, just wanted to rule it out. 

Positive. Needless to say, my stress level didn't decrease. So many thoughts and decisions...all with teaching and parenting made for a difficult time emotionally. The devil definitely kept trying to poke his way into my thoughts. 

February became this blur of "what ifs" and "maybes", and I am a type A planner who likes to know what's ahead...or at least plans for various scenarios that could possibly occur. All while Ethan was interviewing, weighing options, and feeling his own stress of providing for a future family of 7. And lots, and lots of praying. So much praying. My go-to prayer that I would mutter throughout the day was "Lord, if this is your will, help provide the way. Help me to see how we are to do this." 

I finally called the doctor's office to schedule my first appointment, but timing was against me as it was spring break and most of the OB's were out of the office that week. So I scheduled an appointment with the PA for the Tuesday after spring break. Sometimes as a working mom it is easier to be a little late to school (my planning period is 1st block) than it is to figure out childcare during a break. We have done the initial pregnancy appointment quiet a few times, so I told Ethan not to worry about coming with me. He was busy shadowing a new job he was set to start in April. 

By this point I was far enough along that they could do a sonogram to see baby. The PA got it all set up and there was baby...moving and looking perfect. Heartbeat was good. Then she said...

"Hmmm...there's something over there, it's probably your bladder, but we should look at it just in case"

My immediate thought was Oh my God it's a tumor. 

Nope. Not a tumor. 

Another perfect, wiggling little shape that looked very similar to the first shape. And then she got them both on the screen side by side and said "Do you see what I see?"

I said, "Holy shit" and fell into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. I couldn't stop. 

Then I went downstairs for some lab work, but ended up having to leave before it was my turn because I still had to go teach the rest of the day. My planning period would be up and I had three blocks of high school social studies to get through, and no real way to get a sub or come up with something for them all to do in 10 minutes. So I went and taught that day. What I taught, I have no idea. I am sure that I made adjustments so that whatever students were doing it was independent work that didn't need a lot of direct instruction from me, but I can't remember. The whole day was like a blur. 

Ethan sent a text shortly before I got to school, "How was the appointment?" 

There was NO WAY I was sending him twin information in a text. For one, I wasn't sure if he'd believe me. And two...as I've already explained, 2023 has been filled with unexpected information and I wasn't sure how he would react to the news, while he was shadowing a new job he was about to start, and HOURS before we would see each other again in the evening. 

So I just responded with "Looks good. Heartbeat strong. Measuring 11 weeks. There is more to tell you when I see you." 

I finally saw him later that evening, and after what felt like forever, found him alone to tell him. I could hardly get it out...the giggles came out again. 

"Well, I know now why I've been feeling so sick with this pregnancy... There are two." 

"What?"

"We're having twins." 

And here's where he saves the day. This response right here made me relax and feel 1000 times better. This is why we are such a good balance to support each other, because I don't know if I could have handled anything else. He said...

"You've got to be shitting me," then he laughed, threw his hands up and finished with "God has something planned for us." And we both laughed more. Essentially, we both had very similar initial reactions to the news. It took so much heavy worry off my shoulders when he didn't react with frustration, worry, or fear. I'm not sure I could have handled that. 

So by the time I get through this story with the Priest and I say, "And then, Father, we found out we're having twins." 

He laughs. Aloud. "Oh! I'm sorry...I don't mean to laugh!" 

It really was ok! That was my first instinct too. I couldn't blame him. God's timing is perfect, it forces us to turn to Him and lean on Him through difficult transitions. It requires faith. 

Father ended by saying that he believed this was God's way of bringing us closer to Him, leaning on Him, and experiencing that through an incredible blessing, as He continues to show us the way to live a life we didn't expect or plan, but one that will lead to unexpected love. 

Our Rock

I'm 23 weeks pregnant with twins today, Father's Day. This will bring us from 4 kiddos to 6. I still feel like there are times when we just sit in disbelief that this is our reality. Twins? Us?! Seriously?!? Now?!?!

Then, the next minute I find myself so beyond thankful for this unexpected blessing. Just because life is taking a turn we didn't plan or or expect, doesn't make it the wrong direction or a bad road to travel. 

But I know one thing for sure. I wouldn't want anyone in the drivers seat, leading the way than my husband, Ethan. He is, and has been the best leader I could have prayed for. And for him to continue driving so strong in a year that has been so challenging says more about his perseverance, character, and faith than anything else could. 

He's our rock. 

He has somehow found that wonderful balance between provider and involved father. 

He does the first day of school drop off and pictures. Every Year.

He plays catch and pitches balls to little batters. 

He helps pick out birthday and Christmas presents. 

He does the weekly grocery shopping, AND takes the boys with him!

He works long hours to provide me the opportunity to become a stay home mom while the twins are little.

He reminds me when bills need to go in the mail. 

He keeps tabs on our debt, credit scores, and safety. 

He suggests pizza nights when I'm too tired to cook. 

He makes sure the kids help clean up the kitchen. 

He sets up the projector and pops the popcorn for movie nights. 

He wears a tie to Mass every Sunday and pokes and prods kids to remind them to sit, stand, kneel, or sing. 

He loves a good date night with a bourbon or beer flight and spending hours and miles on the pavement on his bike.

He's not perfect, non of us are. But I am so thankful that he is the perfect one to fill the role of husband and father of our Weber Haus. I mean...there's not many father's out there that are so good at their "dad job" that they get promoted from "father of four" to "father of six" in one shot. You gotta be good at your job for a promotion like that! :)

Changes At Weber Haus

How does that saying go??? 

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

Apparently God had quite the hysterical laughing session with us at Weber Haus. 

Cause we had plans. Those plans were made as we would begin to transition, for the first time in over 10 years, into the world without babies and toddlers. God was laughing. 

Because... 

Yup. For those of you who have had children and can read a sonogram photo...that's showing two babies. TWINS! It's still as unbelievable for me to type it out as it probably is for you to read the words. But Weber Haus will become party of 8 by the end of September. For those of you who were wondering why I haven't been posting as many food and drink creations on Facebook, hopefully this news provides an explanation. I spent a good couple months not having an appetite for ANYTHING and feeling icky constantly. Thankfully that has subsided as my belly has started to grow...and I mean grow. I went from easily hiding it one week to full on baby bump the next!

With the unexpected news comes unexpected decisions. The thought of having to do, yet another set of maternity leave lesson plans is enough to send my anxiety through the roof (those who know what that includes...you get it). More importantly, to also try to find a daycare option that will have not one but two infant openings in January that ALSO doesn't cost more than my monthly take home. 

Spoiler Alert...there isn't one. 

Finally, the desire of this mama to get to focus on just being a mama...along with the amazing support and willingness of my husband (another post in the future about him and how awesome he has been through this entire experience) led us to determine that it is time for me to step away from the classroom and stay home. A time for me to be able to focus on the literal health and growth of Weber Haus and be fully present for them. I love teaching. And leaving the classroom is a difficult decision, but I do so peacefully. No ill-will for the profession, school, colleagues, or students. And that really is a good way to walk, because it leaves the door open to come in again when the time is right.

I plan to document our family's additions and our new path on here more often. Blogging has always been a sort of therapeutic outlet for me, and I look forward to writing more on our personal blog while I allow my teaching one to become more of an archive. As life balanced between school and home became more difficult, the writing got put on the back burner (or completely off the burner) and I'm excited to bring it back.

So...stay tuned! I'm sure they'll be much to write about in the near future :)

Something's Cooking in the Kitchen

 "Hope you like spicy!" he called from the kitchen as I let myself. 

He made me this meal after we had been dating for awhile. He liked to cook and was good at it. (Probably because he's a "follow the directions" kind of guy). Many of our dates centered around cooking in the kitchen. 

He poured a glass of white wine as I watched him finish up. "The real treat of this meal is the sauce. You just dip crusty bread in it. It's sooo good." 

Chicken Dippin' is his signature meal. It comes from a cook book our brother-in-law has since gifted us. We make it twice a year. My birthday and Valentine's Day. We make it together, even though he is perfectly capable of fixing this dish on his own. There's just something that brings us back to those dating years when we're in the kitchen together. It doesn't happen as often as we would like, but when it does, we always have a good time. 

I give him a hard time about following everything little detail of the recipe... 

"you can just eyeball it you know..." 

Followed by, "seeee this is why we follow the recipe." 

And usually ending with him mentioning how much he loves cooking dinner with me. I just love hearing that. Not because I need the help, but because its our quality time together. We laugh, reminisce, plan for the future, and dream. The kitchen is a big part of who we are. We have seen our roles go from dating, to engaged, to married, to married 10 years with four kiddos. The kitchen has been a part of each of those stages. The food we make, the laughs, the yells of "I'm cooking...can you change the diaper?" Cooking has been through it all. 

And when we think of the future stages of parenthood we know that the time we'll get to spend together will grow as our kids fill their schedules with new friends and hobbies that don't involve us. One of the things we look forward to is getting to spend more time around the cookbook and stovetop. Something's always going to be cooking in the kitchen at Weber Haus. 

The Final Fourth

This little nugget joined our family on Monday afternoon, February 25th, 2019.  Today he turns one. I went in to be induced that morning and he was out "like a linebacker" by 3:00 that afternoon.

It didn't take long before we realized that little Austin Joseph had his own way of doing things. I mean, I should have realized this. I'm not new to the "mom" role and I've had the opportunity to discover how different each baby is...but I had the confidence of an experienced mom with a full bag of tricks ready to throw at this little guy and all his demands.

Until my bag of tricks didn't suit him. At all.

This little bundle of joy has really made me stretch my "mommying" skills.

At a time when I'm stretched pretty thin as it is (but that's another post for another time).

He is our Final Fourth.

He completes our little family. Or big family depending on your perspective.

Austin Joseph, AJ. Today you have been our 6th member for a year.

A year of your silly little hair flip.

A year of figuring out how you want to sleep. Never the same way two nights in a row. Swaddled, pacifier, in the swing, in the crib, in a sleep sack, just a diaper. No consistency with you kid.

A year of your big little appetite.

A year of your sisters dragging you from place to place.

A year of earning your nickname as "monster-baby". A loveable way to describe your uncanny ability to get into EVERYTHING you're not supposed to. Dog food. Trash can. Billy's potty. If the door's been left open. You. Are. In.

A year of smiles, slobbery baby kisses, love, and hugs. And much more to come.

It's a Good Time for Good Habits

So... my last post on this blog was over a year ago on February 9th. I had just completed Katerina's birthday post (over two months late) and we were still awaiting little AJ and I was MIS-ER-A-BLE waiting those last few weeks.

I wanted to blog more.  I planned on it while on maternity leave. I even started a couple.

Didn't happen.

Wanna know why?

Life hit us with a few big turns. Putting blogging about our lives at the back burner. Trust me. It's not for the lack of things to talk about. I've got some good stuff to share with you. Funny. Deep and meaningful. True insight into what goes on inside my head and what's been consuming our lives for the last year.

It just hasn't been a priority.

I want it to be again. I miss it. I really do love putting words down for us to read years later and smile, laugh, and cry as we remember the feelings that went with each story. I love sharing our lives and what comes our way.

Lent is approaching.

Seems like a good time to get back into a good habit.

Stay tuned...