It's not every day (or ever??) that a priest laughs at you while in the confessional...at least not aloud.
Yep. Happened to me.
Allow me to explain.
Every time I tell this story I start out with... "2023 came in as a HOT mess." I just kept telling Ethan that this would be a time we would look back on our story and talk about how crazy it all was. But in the midst of it...there were (and are still) times it was very difficult, for both of us...for a variety of reasons.
At the end of January we found out that Ethan (along with many others at NetApp) would be laid off in a companywide (global) reduction in force. This was something that always sat in the back of his head and a fear. Things had been good, for the most part, during the pandemic, but lately the tech world was struggling. This brought on all kinds of conversations about where we might end up. We didn't want to move (hellooooo interest rates) but knew it may be a possibility. Other than telling family, we kept this pretty close to home and didn't share the news to many. He started working to update his resume and LinkedIn while I did my best to try and be supportive in any way. I did tell my administration that there may be a chance that I'd have to leave due to moving locations if it came to that. I didn't want them to be surprised.
A week later, as a way to "rule out potential stress" I took a pregnancy test. I didn't really think I was pregnant. I figured I was stressed and getting older so my cycle was a couple days late. I didn't have any symptoms, just wanted to rule it out.
Positive. Needless to say, my stress level didn't decrease. So many thoughts and decisions...all with teaching and parenting made for a difficult time emotionally. The devil definitely kept trying to poke his way into my thoughts.
February became this blur of "what ifs" and "maybes", and I am a type A planner who likes to know what's ahead...or at least plans for various scenarios that could possibly occur. All while Ethan was interviewing, weighing options, and feeling his own stress of providing for a future family of 7. And lots, and lots of praying. So much praying. My go-to prayer that I would mutter throughout the day was "Lord, if this is your will, help provide the way. Help me to see how we are to do this."
I finally called the doctor's office to schedule my first appointment, but timing was against me as it was spring break and most of the OB's were out of the office that week. So I scheduled an appointment with the PA for the Tuesday after spring break. Sometimes as a working mom it is easier to be a little late to school (my planning period is 1st block) than it is to figure out childcare during a break. We have done the initial pregnancy appointment quiet a few times, so I told Ethan not to worry about coming with me. He was busy shadowing a new job he was set to start in April.
By this point I was far enough along that they could do a sonogram to see baby. The PA got it all set up and there was baby...moving and looking perfect. Heartbeat was good. Then she said...
"Hmmm...there's something over there, it's probably your bladder, but we should look at it just in case"
My immediate thought was Oh my God it's a tumor.
Nope. Not a tumor.
Another perfect, wiggling little shape that looked very similar to the first shape. And then she got them both on the screen side by side and said "Do you see what I see?"
I said, "Holy shit" and fell into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. I couldn't stop.
Then I went downstairs for some lab work, but ended up having to leave before it was my turn because I still had to go teach the rest of the day. My planning period would be up and I had three blocks of high school social studies to get through, and no real way to get a sub or come up with something for them all to do in 10 minutes. So I went and taught that day. What I taught, I have no idea. I am sure that I made adjustments so that whatever students were doing it was independent work that didn't need a lot of direct instruction from me, but I can't remember. The whole day was like a blur.
Ethan sent a text shortly before I got to school, "How was the appointment?"
There was NO WAY I was sending him twin information in a text. For one, I wasn't sure if he'd believe me. And two...as I've already explained, 2023 has been filled with unexpected information and I wasn't sure how he would react to the news, while he was shadowing a new job he was about to start, and HOURS before we would see each other again in the evening.
So I just responded with "Looks good. Heartbeat strong. Measuring 11 weeks. There is more to tell you when I see you."
I finally saw him later that evening, and after what felt like forever, found him alone to tell him. I could hardly get it out...the giggles came out again.
"Well, I know now why I've been feeling so sick with this pregnancy... There are two."
"What?"
"We're having twins."
And here's where he saves the day. This response right here made me relax and feel 1000 times better. This is why we are such a good balance to support each other, because I don't know if I could have handled anything else. He said...
"You've got to be shitting me," then he laughed, threw his hands up and finished with "God has something planned for us." And we both laughed more. Essentially, we both had very similar initial reactions to the news. It took so much heavy worry off my shoulders when he didn't react with frustration, worry, or fear. I'm not sure I could have handled that.
So by the time I get through this story with the Priest and I say, "And then, Father, we found out we're having twins."
He laughs. Aloud. "Oh! I'm sorry...I don't mean to laugh!"
It really was ok! That was my first instinct too. I couldn't blame him. God's timing is perfect, it forces us to turn to Him and lean on Him through difficult transitions. It requires faith.
Father ended by saying that he believed this was God's way of bringing us closer to Him, leaning on Him, and experiencing that through an incredible blessing, as He continues to show us the way to live a life we didn't expect or plan, but one that will lead to unexpected love.
No comments:
Post a Comment