Now that I'm getting married I am constantly getting "advise" from my married friends or coworkers. Sometimes the advise is good and I think "yeah Ethan and I will do that!" Sometimes the advice is funny and I think "oh I can't wait for those silly things to happen to us." And some of the advice is sad or depressing and I think "I am not going to let that happen!"
Here are some of the best...
~ At your wedding make sure you eat something. The first thing your dad and I did when we got to the hotel after the dance was go to the hotel restaurant (it was open 24 hours) and ordered dinner, your dad had stroginoff.
~ The key to a happy marriage is laughter.
~ Once you get married the romance stops. (I highly doubt that one...it doesn't take too much for us to feel romantic. It's amazing how simply holding hands can make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...I hope that never changes)
~ While you're dating everyone keeps asking when you'll get married. After you get married everyone will start asking when you're going to start having babies.
~ Marriage is about communication and sacrifice. You are no longer living for yourself.
~ Once you get married you won't have to have as much sex with him. HA (that one always makes me laugh...)
~ You will both be obligated to accompany the other to faculty Christmas parties, family gatherings, friends weddings, and anything else that he or she commits you to!
~ A family that prays together, stays together
~ If your marriage can survive long road trips and home remodeling projects, it can survive anything!
~ The best Valentine's Day gift for your husband is a new teddy.
~ After you've been married 30 years you can cut your hair as short as you want. He's stuck with you for that long, he's not going to leave you cause your hair is short.
~ After you have kids make sure that you have a "date night" once a month for just the two of you. Don't wake up 20 years later with the kids off to college and you having to get to know each other again.
~ Make sure the anniversary date is something easy for him to remember, close to his birthday or any other major holiday!
~ Go someplace on your honeymoon that you may never get to go again. It's your honeymoon...you really only get one.
~ You will both lose all sense of Modesty. Once closing the bathroom door to go to the bathroom, you will eventually have one of you on the pot while the other is bushing their teeth. (HAHA)
~ He will want a shop, a man-cave, or some place to "get away"
~ You will want him to have a shop, a man-cave, or some place to "get away"
~ You now have to start shopping for items that are "neutral." Girls don't want to live in a house that looks like a bachelor pad, and Guys don't want to live in a home that looks like a flower garden exploded onto EVERYTHING!
~ With marriage you will work harder than you ever thought. Not just emotionally to keep your relationship strong, but real work. You will fix a toilet, paint walls, plant gardens, help move, and all sorts of physical labor that you didn't think about.
This is just some of the things that I've been advised about marriage. I am sure that Ethan has heard some wonderful tips from his married friends...hmmm, that could be an interesting blog...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
The Perfect Moment!
I have mentioned before that Ethan and my engagement wasn't the typical Hollywood story that people seem to expect. Life happened. Ethan got laid off, we knew we wanted to get married, so after Ethan talked to my parents we announced our engagement. We decided to wait and get rings later after he found a job. (House payment or diamond ring...not a hard choice).
After months of praying and sending out resume after resume, Ethan was offered the full time position in Lincoln, NE where he had been doing contract work for the summer. Even though it isn't the ideal location or where we want to live permanently, Ethan accepted the job and we made plans to go ring shopping this Saturday. I was very excited, talking with Ethan all weekend about styles I liked and where we would go. All the while Ethan having quite different plans...
Ethan usually works a little later Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays in order to be able to leave work around 2 so he can be back in Wichita by 6. This week was no different, but he thought he might be able to sneak out of there by 12! I was excited :)
Well, I sure was surprised to see Ethan walk through the door 30 minutes early, claiming to have left just a little earlier than he had me believing. We enjoyed the extra few hours sitting on the couch and just enjoying being with eachother. Then Ethan suggested we practice dancing to our song we've chosen for the wedding. This isn't the first time we practiced...I can't seem to make it through the song without crying at the end, so we have to keep trying and trying. There we are dancing in the middle of the living room at 5:00 on a Friday, me trying to make it through the song without getting all teary. Finally the end of the song rolls around, and this is where I usually lose it...Ethan then slips a ring on my finger! I just cried and cried as he hugged me. For that little moment everything was PERFECT!
Ethan had it all planned out from the beginning of the week, when he was leading me on about Saturday and ring shopping together. He left work 4 hours earlier than normal and arrived in Wichita at his friend's Jewelry store. He picked out the PERFECT ring. It's a beautiful round diamond in the middle with 5 tiny diamonds on each side of the band. It was EXACTLY like something I would have picked out for myself. And what makes it better...he did it all by himself. I can't really describe in words how much more special this ring is that he picked it out. I just look at it in awe...
I have now caught myself staring at the pretty diamonds shinning on my finger many times through the weekend. I find myself waving that hand around more so that maybe someone will notice and I can show it off and tell the wonderful story!
After months of praying and sending out resume after resume, Ethan was offered the full time position in Lincoln, NE where he had been doing contract work for the summer. Even though it isn't the ideal location or where we want to live permanently, Ethan accepted the job and we made plans to go ring shopping this Saturday. I was very excited, talking with Ethan all weekend about styles I liked and where we would go. All the while Ethan having quite different plans...
Ethan usually works a little later Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays in order to be able to leave work around 2 so he can be back in Wichita by 6. This week was no different, but he thought he might be able to sneak out of there by 12! I was excited :)
Well, I sure was surprised to see Ethan walk through the door 30 minutes early, claiming to have left just a little earlier than he had me believing. We enjoyed the extra few hours sitting on the couch and just enjoying being with eachother. Then Ethan suggested we practice dancing to our song we've chosen for the wedding. This isn't the first time we practiced...I can't seem to make it through the song without crying at the end, so we have to keep trying and trying. There we are dancing in the middle of the living room at 5:00 on a Friday, me trying to make it through the song without getting all teary. Finally the end of the song rolls around, and this is where I usually lose it...Ethan then slips a ring on my finger! I just cried and cried as he hugged me. For that little moment everything was PERFECT!
Ethan had it all planned out from the beginning of the week, when he was leading me on about Saturday and ring shopping together. He left work 4 hours earlier than normal and arrived in Wichita at his friend's Jewelry store. He picked out the PERFECT ring. It's a beautiful round diamond in the middle with 5 tiny diamonds on each side of the band. It was EXACTLY like something I would have picked out for myself. And what makes it better...he did it all by himself. I can't really describe in words how much more special this ring is that he picked it out. I just look at it in awe...
I have now caught myself staring at the pretty diamonds shinning on my finger many times through the weekend. I find myself waving that hand around more so that maybe someone will notice and I can show it off and tell the wonderful story!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Random Chatter
~ Last weekend my mom had a get-together with her college sorority girls (they do this every summer) and this year it was in Wichita. I didn't have anything to do on Friday so I went out to the lake house (VERY nice house...). We played on the lake and after a while a bunch of us decided to go over and try the rope swing into the water. It finally got to my turn and, either very stupid or brave, I got up on the 6 ft. plank to swing into the water. Problem: My legs hit the ground before I got to the water...NOT GOOD. The entire left side of my right knee is bruised and skinned up. My right shin is all skinned and since there's no where around the shin to really swell, it went to my ankle. Moral of the story...If you are a klutz do play on the rope swing!
~ Ethan laughed at me when I told him that story...no sympathy!
~ My wedding dress came in...so pretty!
~ I am in the process of moving into Ethan's house. There really was no point in continuing to pay 400/month + utilities when I'm never at the house in Cheney. Plus, with Ethan working contract in Lincoln, I'm here all the time and that will have to continue through the school year.
~ Along with moving into his place, means I get the "girl it up" just a bit. Not too much though...can't shock the poor guy, have to break him in gradually! HA :)
~ I made zucchini bread for the first time yesterday, my grandmother's recipe. Considering my unpleasant experiences with baking in the past and that I can never get my banana bread to turn out right, I was very nervous. However, it turned out wonderful! I'm going to make up more loaves and freeze them for later :-)
~ I broke a nail today while moving my stuff...I hate that!
~ Ethan and I have Engagement Encounter this weekend. We get to spend the whole weekend at the Spiritual Life Center in Wichita. I am looking forward to it, but something tells me I'm going to be very tired by Sunday afternoon...
~ School is starting in less than a month. I haven't done too much school work so far this summer since we're starting a week later than usual. Now, it's less than a month away, I haven't done hardly anything, I can't get into the school cause they waxed the floors, AND I have to pack, clean, and move!
~ I'm so very happy!!!
~ Ethan laughed at me when I told him that story...no sympathy!
~ My wedding dress came in...so pretty!
~ I am in the process of moving into Ethan's house. There really was no point in continuing to pay 400/month + utilities when I'm never at the house in Cheney. Plus, with Ethan working contract in Lincoln, I'm here all the time and that will have to continue through the school year.
~ Along with moving into his place, means I get the "girl it up" just a bit. Not too much though...can't shock the poor guy, have to break him in gradually! HA :)
~ I made zucchini bread for the first time yesterday, my grandmother's recipe. Considering my unpleasant experiences with baking in the past and that I can never get my banana bread to turn out right, I was very nervous. However, it turned out wonderful! I'm going to make up more loaves and freeze them for later :-)
~ I broke a nail today while moving my stuff...I hate that!
~ Ethan and I have Engagement Encounter this weekend. We get to spend the whole weekend at the Spiritual Life Center in Wichita. I am looking forward to it, but something tells me I'm going to be very tired by Sunday afternoon...
~ School is starting in less than a month. I haven't done too much school work so far this summer since we're starting a week later than usual. Now, it's less than a month away, I haven't done hardly anything, I can't get into the school cause they waxed the floors, AND I have to pack, clean, and move!
~ I'm so very happy!!!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
SKIMP and SPEND
In today's economy many people are trying to cut back and finding ways to save on certain items that they have been enjoying in order to pay bills, tuition, or survive on one salary. I like to consider myself pretty good at watching my money and saving. Lately I have been trying to save a little more each month. Through college I was able to have more than one job, take 16+ credit hours, have a social life, and still manage to save a little each month. Through those college years I learned very quickly which items were worth skimping on and which ones were well worth the extra dollar. Here are some of the things I do to cut back.
SKIMP on Movies: it cost 10+ for one adult to go to the theatre, plus popcorn and a soda. By the end of the night you're looking at a 50$ outing. Wait till it comes out on video and buy or rent it. Pop your own popcorn and snuggle on the couch. (Although this is much easier for me when Ethan has the big screen in the basement and it's like going to the movies anyway...only more comfortable!)
SPEND on Peanut Butter: For the most part I am a true saver with the "Always Save," "Kroger," or "Best Choice" brands. Normally they are just as good as the original for less. With that said, the cheap peanut butter is terrible. The peanut taste is either way off or there's no peanut taste and you pay for oily peanut butter. I will spend the extra for Jiff. It's always Jiff.
SKIMP on Restaurants: Ethan and I love to cook at home. This is a cheaper option for us because we end up with left overs to last the rest of the week. Although when we really feel like something different or going out to eat, we look for the deals. Two entrees for 20$ and other deals like that.
SPEND on Jeans: I am a total convert to the expensive jeans. I thought it was ridiculous to spend 80$ on jeans. That was until I tried on a pair of Silver Jeans. They fit PERFECTLY! Although because they are expensive, I have two pair and wear them only.
SKIMP on Bottled Water: I don't buy it. The tap water is fine at my place and Ethan's. If I ever live where the tap water is undrinkable, the Brita Water Filter pitcher is what I'll use. Much cheaper.
SPEND on Razors: The better the razor the better the shave. The cheaper the razor the more the pain (razor burn sucks).
SKIMP on Car wash: And basically any cleaning type jobs you can do yourself. Skip the 10$ car was and bust out the hose and your bathing suit and get a tan :)
SPEND on Exercise: I golf and swim. Golfing cost every time I tee off and swimming is a monthly fee for the YMCA. Both are worth it. They get me out and about. Taking care of yourself is definitely worth it.
SKIMP on Cable: Get what you HAVE to have. I cut back from 120$ a month to 60$ a month. I get Internet for 40 and 15 for my main channels, add in tax and it's half as expensive as having the extra channels.
SKIMP on Movies: it cost 10+ for one adult to go to the theatre, plus popcorn and a soda. By the end of the night you're looking at a 50$ outing. Wait till it comes out on video and buy or rent it. Pop your own popcorn and snuggle on the couch. (Although this is much easier for me when Ethan has the big screen in the basement and it's like going to the movies anyway...only more comfortable!)
SPEND on Peanut Butter: For the most part I am a true saver with the "Always Save," "Kroger," or "Best Choice" brands. Normally they are just as good as the original for less. With that said, the cheap peanut butter is terrible. The peanut taste is either way off or there's no peanut taste and you pay for oily peanut butter. I will spend the extra for Jiff. It's always Jiff.
SKIMP on Restaurants: Ethan and I love to cook at home. This is a cheaper option for us because we end up with left overs to last the rest of the week. Although when we really feel like something different or going out to eat, we look for the deals. Two entrees for 20$ and other deals like that.
SPEND on Jeans: I am a total convert to the expensive jeans. I thought it was ridiculous to spend 80$ on jeans. That was until I tried on a pair of Silver Jeans. They fit PERFECTLY! Although because they are expensive, I have two pair and wear them only.
SKIMP on Bottled Water: I don't buy it. The tap water is fine at my place and Ethan's. If I ever live where the tap water is undrinkable, the Brita Water Filter pitcher is what I'll use. Much cheaper.
SPEND on Razors: The better the razor the better the shave. The cheaper the razor the more the pain (razor burn sucks).
SKIMP on Car wash: And basically any cleaning type jobs you can do yourself. Skip the 10$ car was and bust out the hose and your bathing suit and get a tan :)
SPEND on Exercise: I golf and swim. Golfing cost every time I tee off and swimming is a monthly fee for the YMCA. Both are worth it. They get me out and about. Taking care of yourself is definitely worth it.
SKIMP on Cable: Get what you HAVE to have. I cut back from 120$ a month to 60$ a month. I get Internet for 40 and 15 for my main channels, add in tax and it's half as expensive as having the extra channels.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Random Chatter
Ha...I started out with Sunday Chatter, and that soon changed to "Weekly Chatter" when I realized I could not always blog every Sunday. Now after realizing it's been many weeks since my last "chatter" I have decided to call it "Random Chatter!"
~ Yesterday was my "-1 Anniversary." I love that Ethan and I are getting married around a Holiday. It means we will always have at least an extra day to celebrate free from work. He got me a card, I was very surprised! :-)
~ My sister has decided that she is addicted to chocolate. This is something most of us who know her are well aware of. I told her to accept it and enjoy some chocolate cake. Jamie however, cannot do that. She has had me bet her that she can't stay away from Chocolate for a month. The terms: If I win, she cooks me dinner, if she wins I cook her dinner.
~ Ethan and I are in the process of trying to pick a photographer for our wedding. It really is a hard decision, but we've narrowed it down to 3. Whoever we go with I am sure we'll end up with beautiful pictures!
~ Little Copper is getting bigger. He is such a good mannered dog, and I love asking mom how he is and hearing what funny or silly thing he did when I call.
~ I bought my first watermelon of the summer on July 1. It was a very sweet and wonderful watermelon, making me wonder why I waited until July to get one!
~ While Ethan has been working in Lincoln doing contract work during the weeks I have been trying to find things to keep me busy during the day to make the week go faster. One day this week I cleaned the entire house, cooked dinner, made a potato salad, did laundry, went to the store. I call that my "mom" day. It was a day that sounded very similar to ones my mother has. The next day I helped Ethan's dad load sod in the back of the truck at a grass farm, helped lay the sod, got very dirty. This is my "dad" day!
~ Speaking of Lincoln...I'm praying extra hard, it might work out!
~ I love KC and Breck! I don't think I could ever live without a dog again. Good thing Ethan agrees with me. However, I'll have to keep working on him if I'm ever going to get a little daschound!
~ Yesterday was my "-1 Anniversary." I love that Ethan and I are getting married around a Holiday. It means we will always have at least an extra day to celebrate free from work. He got me a card, I was very surprised! :-)
~ My sister has decided that she is addicted to chocolate. This is something most of us who know her are well aware of. I told her to accept it and enjoy some chocolate cake. Jamie however, cannot do that. She has had me bet her that she can't stay away from Chocolate for a month. The terms: If I win, she cooks me dinner, if she wins I cook her dinner.
~ Ethan and I are in the process of trying to pick a photographer for our wedding. It really is a hard decision, but we've narrowed it down to 3. Whoever we go with I am sure we'll end up with beautiful pictures!
~ Little Copper is getting bigger. He is such a good mannered dog, and I love asking mom how he is and hearing what funny or silly thing he did when I call.
~ I bought my first watermelon of the summer on July 1. It was a very sweet and wonderful watermelon, making me wonder why I waited until July to get one!
~ While Ethan has been working in Lincoln doing contract work during the weeks I have been trying to find things to keep me busy during the day to make the week go faster. One day this week I cleaned the entire house, cooked dinner, made a potato salad, did laundry, went to the store. I call that my "mom" day. It was a day that sounded very similar to ones my mother has. The next day I helped Ethan's dad load sod in the back of the truck at a grass farm, helped lay the sod, got very dirty. This is my "dad" day!
~ Speaking of Lincoln...I'm praying extra hard, it might work out!
~ I love KC and Breck! I don't think I could ever live without a dog again. Good thing Ethan agrees with me. However, I'll have to keep working on him if I'm ever going to get a little daschound!
Monday, June 29, 2009
The Meaning Behind "I Don't Care"
I went to Kansas City this weekend to spend an evening out with some of my very best girlfriends from college. We always have so much fun together and I knew that this trip would be the same. After a very long decision process (which is the meaning of my post...) we decided to eat at a Thai restaurant in downtown KC and then walk to the Power and Lights district for a night of drinks and dancing.
I have now spent two weekends with two different groups of women (see mystery weekend) and one common phrase keeps popping up. "I don't care." I noticed myself saying it, my sister saying it, my mom, my friends, and numerous times throughout the trips. I started to think a little about how often I say it, and how often it gets said by women. Then I thought about how many different reasons their might be fore saying "I don't care" and how confusing that might be to men. I thought I would try to explain some of the reasons that I say "I don't care."
1. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I really don't care." This one I use mainly when trying to pick a place to eat. I am not a picky eater, and many of my friends can be. So I really don't mind where we eat most of the time. I can find something at any place that I will eat and probably enjoy. Many times I try to get out of the "I don't care" jam by giving a few choices of places that sound good, that way I have at least added to the conversation.
2. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "My opinion won't really matter anyway." There may have been times when a woman gave her opinion or suggestion and it wasn't taken. This tends to happened a few times before we get to this point, but it does happen.
3. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I don't want to seem bossy." Let me clarify. I don't say "I don't care" because I am incapable of making a decision. I am very good at making decisions...sometimes I make them too quickly. But if every time I get to make the decision then I get the stigma of being bossy, or even worse...selfish because "we always have to do what Jill wants"
4. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I really do care and I'm testing you to see how well you know me, because you should know me well enough to read my mind and pick what I want you to without telling you" This one is many times used towards men. I hate this one. I've seen many of my girlfriends use this on their boyfriends/fiance/husbands and then end up mad when he didn't pick the right thing. I can honestly say I have never used this myself to date...but I can't promise it won't EVER happen...I am a woman, and we are complex and do things for reasons that we don't even know.
I am sure there are many more reasons behind the "I don't care" but these are the ones that I know and use (or have seen used). If you have any other ideas, don't hesitate to add to the comments!
I have now spent two weekends with two different groups of women (see mystery weekend) and one common phrase keeps popping up. "I don't care." I noticed myself saying it, my sister saying it, my mom, my friends, and numerous times throughout the trips. I started to think a little about how often I say it, and how often it gets said by women. Then I thought about how many different reasons their might be fore saying "I don't care" and how confusing that might be to men. I thought I would try to explain some of the reasons that I say "I don't care."
1. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I really don't care." This one I use mainly when trying to pick a place to eat. I am not a picky eater, and many of my friends can be. So I really don't mind where we eat most of the time. I can find something at any place that I will eat and probably enjoy. Many times I try to get out of the "I don't care" jam by giving a few choices of places that sound good, that way I have at least added to the conversation.
2. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "My opinion won't really matter anyway." There may have been times when a woman gave her opinion or suggestion and it wasn't taken. This tends to happened a few times before we get to this point, but it does happen.
3. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I don't want to seem bossy." Let me clarify. I don't say "I don't care" because I am incapable of making a decision. I am very good at making decisions...sometimes I make them too quickly. But if every time I get to make the decision then I get the stigma of being bossy, or even worse...selfish because "we always have to do what Jill wants"
4. "I don't care." TRANSLATION: "I really do care and I'm testing you to see how well you know me, because you should know me well enough to read my mind and pick what I want you to without telling you" This one is many times used towards men. I hate this one. I've seen many of my girlfriends use this on their boyfriends/fiance/husbands and then end up mad when he didn't pick the right thing. I can honestly say I have never used this myself to date...but I can't promise it won't EVER happen...I am a woman, and we are complex and do things for reasons that we don't even know.
I am sure there are many more reasons behind the "I don't care" but these are the ones that I know and use (or have seen used). If you have any other ideas, don't hesitate to add to the comments!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Mystery Weekend
This last March, my mother came to my sister and I and said "I have an idea, and if you don't like it we don't have to do it, it's just a thought." Of course Jamie and I want to know the idea, we both know that we will want to do it not matter what it is...mom always has such great ideas.
"I would like to plan a trip for just us girls this summer," she said "I've always wanted to start a yearly tradition of simple trips for just us." Of course right away, Jamie and I are enthusiastic and start brainstorming ideas of where to go. "Here's the catch," mom says "I'm going to do all the planning, and I'm not going to tell you where we're going we all pile in the car and are ready to go. What do you think?" We LOVED the idea!
Over the course of the next few months mom enjoyed planning our weekend in secret and teasing us with little smiles and lines like "I just booked our hotel, and it's supposed to be the best hotel in the area." Jamie and I were so excited...finally counting down the days to our "Mystery Trip."
On Friday, mom picked us up and we left for our fun filled weekend. The destination??? Oklahoma City. This was a great place for us to go because we had all been through it a time or two on our way south to Texas, but never stopped to do much. Plus the Oklahoma City Memorial was there...something all of us had wanted to see. Our trip was filled with many fun things!
The Memorial:
We went to the memorial on Friday right after checking in to our hotel. This is something we wanted to make sure we did right away so that we wouldn't end up with bad weather and miss out. I was in the 6th grade with the bombing occurred and I remember watching the news and feeling sad. The main portion of the memorial is located outside, and there is a museum inside that takes you through the events of the day. It is VERY moving and emotional. A wonderful experience.
Wine Tasting:
On a whim we stopped into a little store in Bricktown in OK City. They had free wine tastings and we thought that it would be fun to try a couple. I think we tried most of the wines on the list (except for the really dry ones) and it was a very hard decision, but we each took home a bottle. Mine is called "dust bowl," Jamie's is "Skinny Dip" and I can't remember mom's but it was VERY good...I had a hard time choosing between the two.
Bricktown:
The local area downtown that has lots of food, drinks, and entertainment. We spent most of Saturday evening and night down at Bricktown. We had a "Progressive Supper" where we ate appetizers at one place, main meal and another, and got marble slab ice cream at the end. There is a river walk and you can take a canal ride throughout the entire area. We took the boat that had cocktails. Mom and I had a "Sunrise" (cranberry and vodka) and Jamie had a "Mango Bango" which was some fruity drink that was yummy! I appropriately titled that the "Booze Cruise" :-)
All in all we had a fantastic weekend! We look forward to next year's "Mystery Weekend" which mom is already busy planning!
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