August 1st and A Different Side of Summer

Today is a day I've been waiting for. August 1st. 

It holds no real significance, but it's the day that I've been anticipating since I turned in my resignation letter in May. August 1st is usually the day that I go back to work in my classroom. It's not the "required reporting day for teachers," it's just always been my way of finding a balance between my two "jobs" over the summer. I always went back to school a week earlier than required. This allowed me to enjoy all of June completely "school free" and dabble in some planning ideas and tech stuff when I felt like it in July (some years I did more than others). But August 1 found me usually dusting off my desk and organizing my classroom space so I can prepare lessons and activities for the new year. 

I've been waiting for this day because I'm usually ready. I'm excited to be back. To breathe life into the new lessons I've brainstormed and to get ahead of the game, so I felt confident and ready when the new crop of students walked in my room. I loved the quite solitude of my classroom, which was a direct change from the loud chaos of life at Weber Haus.

When I resigned in May I was completely at peace with the decision. But that's May. May is a hard month for teachers (and especially hard for teacher moms who have school obligations on both the teacher and kid side). It's easy to feel confident about a decision to walk away from one of the two things that are literally burning the candle at both ends. 

But would I be as confident in August? When the excitement and passion for teaching are at its peak? Would I still be at peace with the decision? 

The answer actually surprised me a bit. Yes. I'm just as confident and happy with the decision to stay home as I was in May. In fact, I've experienced very little-to-no stress at all. It's strange. 

I mean I am pregnant with twins so there are other things keeping me busy and exhausted, but I really never knew about "this side" of summer. 

The side of summer that didn't dread the 4th of July because that meant the downhill slide towards the end. 

The side of summer that didn't see me forced to try to get ALL the appointments for the kids and myself done that first week of August. I have time to spread it out. I have the flexibility to get things accomplished when the kids go back to school. There's no "end date" on my productivity at home (which is a good thing because it seems to take me three times as long to get tasks done these days).

The side of summer that I wasn't trying to figure out daycare for the first week I'd voluntarily go back and the next week of required meetings. 

The side of summer that doesn't force me to balance my required open house, in-services, and back to school supply shopping with kids' and "meet your teacher nights."

The side of summer that allows me to still take my kids on mini vacations, the pool, and do fun activities with them for two whole weeks in August. 

The side of summer that I don't have to try to sneak a look at curriculum mapping, assessments, and reaching out to new teachers to welcome them. 

Don't get me wrong...I did enjoy doing a lot of that, but it did come with a price. A price I'm just now learning about. A stress that I don't think I truly realized was so much a part of me that I had grown so accustomed to it. I didn't even register it as something that could go away.

Will I miss teaching? Parts of it. The kids. Goodness I've had the opportunity to be around some awesome teens who definitely give hope for the future and make the work better. I'll miss specific lessons that I've created and loved teaching. I can't think of my "Migrant Mother" or "Strange Fruit" lessons without feeling sad that I won't get to lead those this year. I'll miss the collaboration sessions with my colleagues when we take and idea to fruition. I'll miss the fun gatherings at the local breweries with the staff after parent/teacher conferences and before football games. I'll miss the quite classroom I would sit in and grade or tidy or create when I needed to get out of the house just to "be alone." (mom's get it.)

But I also know, without a doubt, that I am incredibly thankful that I don't have to try to get ready for a day of teaching when I can barely make it through the first 3 hours of my day without "sitting for a quick rest." I'm so happy that I've been able to spend my summer just focusing on family and not creating another "maternity leave binder." I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at this point in the journey, and that peace is comforting. I love that I get six weeks to prepare for life with twins while my big kids start school. I love that I didn't feel like I had to have everything ready for babies by the time school starts. I still have time. And that time is a huge blessing.

Here's to two more weeks of pool time and a slower-paced start to a new school year. Cause by October...life will look VERY different!