Just a Typical Trip to Mass

Dear Woman who sat in front of us tonight during Mass,

I would like to apologize for our 20-month-old daughter.

You see, we went to a different church tonight.  We do go to Mass every week, even though I am sure it looked like our little girl had never seen the inside of a church or been told to sit more for more than 5 minutes at a time.  As I am sure you noticed...she doesn't do that.  Ever.  But we do go to church.  Every week.  And we go through this, every week.  

We really really tried, again, to keep her quite and sitting down.  I packed her favorite book.  "Brown Bear, Brown Bear."  She LOVES it at home and will sit and look at it ON HER OWN, completely in to it.  Not at church.  She didn't care what Brown Bear saw.  I am sorry, that it ended up in your pew.  She tossed it there.  I tried to catch it.  I missed.

I am really sorry that she smacked you on your back as you sat, quietly listening to the reading.  She has NEVER done that one before.  I tried to stop her.  I missed.  

(On a positive note, she did try to pick off the loose hair sticking to the back of your shirt before she slapped you on the back.) 

I am also very, truly sorry for any little bits of cracker that you might shake out of your coat tonight when you get home.  You see, we don't normally go to church at this time.  It is dinner time.  She didn't get a snack after her nap this afternoon because all she wanted to do was sit in her high chair attempting to buckle and unbuckle the strap on her seat.  So she was hungry.  I pulled out the little peanut butter sandwich crackers in an attempt to stop her from screaming because she couldn't hold her new baby sister.  She did stop screaming.  However, that came at the cost of her pulling apart the sandwich to lick the peanut butter out of the middle and then shove the rest of the cracker in her mouth.  That resulted in little bits of cracker falling in the pew in front of us.  Where you were sitting.  Again, I tried to catch it.  I missed.  Sorry.

I would also like to apologize for the gurgling noises during the homily.  She was drinking her juice nice and quietly and then all of a sudden she throws her head back and starts to gurgle.  I know, that sound should only ever be heard when brushing teeth, and never by a toddler...in church.  All I can say is at least it stayed in her mouth...

I promise you we that we really do try to work with her on staying quiet.  She just doesn't get it, and she isn't old enough to understand bribes, such as "if you stay quiet during mass you can have some fruit snacks, or ice cream, or ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!"  

I promise we try.  

God Bless You and your quietly sitting boys,

The noisy family behind you

I have read article after article, blog post after blog post on how to keep a toddler quiet and attentive during mass, and how even though they are moving and crying and trying to escape up the aisle and trying to dip their entire arm in the holy water, they really are absorbing the information.  I just keep reminding myself that this stage of life will pass, she will eventually sit and listen, until then, I will continue to pack "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" and write apology letters to the people sitting in front of us.