My 180 Turn

I enjoyed high school. I don't have any horror stories about people being mean to me, I enjoyed most of my classes and teachers, and made lasting memories on a variety of sports teams. But the one thing I regret about my high school days is that I was not more outgoing.

I was a very shy elementary and middle schooler. I believe that that stemmed from one major goal; not drawing attention to myself. Throughout most of elementary and middle school I was at least a head or two taller than everyone else, I was easy to see. To add even more for people to look at, my face turns incredibly red when I get even the slightest embarrassed. So my first 10 years of school was spent trying to blend in and not give people any more reasons to look at me.

They by my Sophomore year something happened. My peers grew. I was still taller than everyone else, but it wasn't so drastic. I saw my height as a big positive rather than something to try and hide. I was still shy though...my face would still turn red. I didn't want that to happen, so I still kept to myself for the most part. By the time my Sr. year rolled around I hadn't been to any weekend parties and I didn't have a large group of friends. I did have a couple real close friends who I would hang out with, but that was about it. The big difference between my Sr. year and my So. year...I wanted more. I wanted to be more outgoing and I wanted to have more friends, but I figured it was too late. All friendships had been established and people knew me as "nice." And we all know how hard it can be to penetrate those thick "clique" walls.

I waited for college. I couldn't have been more ready to try something new. It was a chance for me to start over, make new friends, and gain new experiences. And I did. My first two years at Hutchinson Community College I played on the volleyball team and established friendships that I still consider some of my best today. I love those girls, and miss them terribly. I just wish I was better at keeping in contact with them.

Today my face still turns red. Something I will never be able to change and will always hate. But that doesn't effect how I live my life. I have learned to laugh at myself (along with others) when I make my many mistakes. People who know me now can't believe I was this quiet, shy girl in high school. I love meeting new people and trying new things, and I am not afraid to go someplace I've never been before. I look forward to those challenges! I always tell people that if I could go back to high school with the personality and confidence I have now, I would have many more friends, but probably a few other people who didn't think I was just "nice."