That Would Be GREAT... if

Yesterday, I posted about us trying to raise independent little girls.  In some ways I would say that we are succeeding.  They are both so excited to try things on their own, and super excited when they are able to.

However, this has also made for some frustrating moments when I have to remind myself of the overall goal.

To raise independent, strong, confident women.

That will be great...

If I can survive it with any of my sanity.

For example.

Jackie LOVES to help do the dishes in the sink.  That would be great... if it didn't result in soapy water dripping down the side of the counter and into a big pile on the floor.

She also wants to take her dishes to the sink after she is finished eating.  And that would be great... if she didn't accidentally drop the bowl with soup broth all over the floor.

Katerina is definitely in the "by myself" stage.  Her favorite thing to do right now (since we are potty-training) is dump her little potty of pee in the toilet herself.  That would be great... if she actually got the pee into the toilet.

They love to help me cook in the kitchen, which would be great... if it didn't quadruple the mess I have to clean up after. **If I can have some success with the above dishwashing this might end up less mess for ME to have to clean up.

Jackie wants to sweep the floor... Awesome.  If that didn't end up with her swinging the broom from side to side and knocking off the bag of chip crumbs to the floor.

Katerina tries to put her coat on by her self.  Upside down and backwards every time.

Jackie wants the independence of NOT having the child lock on the inside of her door.  (Yup.  I lock her in her room at night.  Parent of the year.)  We tried it, and I would continue to allow her that independence if she would stay in bed later than 5:30 AM.  She will find the lock back on her door tonight.  I am sure the fit she is going to throw will be epic.

Remember the goal.  Strong.  Independent. Confident.

I am adding survival to the list.

Independent. Strong. Confident.

Ethan and I are doing our best to raise independent children.  Children who can do things for themselves, by themselves, and occasionally for others, and by "others" I mean that to also include us, their parents.

The ultimate goal of this is long term.  I would rather not have 30-something adult children living in my basement, I want them to be OK living on their own, fending for themselves in our unsafe and unpredictable world.

I know.  I'm a monster.

I saw a meme while scrolling through Facebook one day that said "If your child can run an iPhone, they can run the laundry machine."

Yup.  That about sums up everything right there.  Earlier this week, Jackie (my 3-year-old) took the iPad, found the music app, located the specific Taylor Swift song she wanted to listen to, played it and turned up the volume for the entire house to hear.

She is three.

If she can find "Bad Blood" in a field of other music songs on a device that took me months to figure out.  She can help around the house, and her two-year-old sister isn't far behind.

So their list of "to-do" just got a little longer.

I just have to be able to survive the "teaching them how to do this stuff" part, so that I can get to the "nagging them to death" pre-teen and teen years.  But I will succeed.

Because I am independent, strong, and confident.

Worth It.

So, I stood on the scale the other day.

Hmmm... right at the top (if not a pound or two over) my 5 lb. bubble I like to stay within.

Really?  I thought.  I've been eating pretty normal during my meals and sometimes even forgetting my afternoon snack when I've been busy.

It's too early in the monthly cycle to blame the extra poundage on bloating.

Hmmm...

I casually mentioned this to Ethan while watching Netflix the other night.

"I'm just not sure why..."

And then I looked in my hands.

At the bowl of ice cream I was enjoying.

OK...it was my second bowl.

Oh, there it is...

Two weeks ago we got a great idea to try making different flavors of homemade ice cream.  We decided on fresh peach, chocolate peanut butter, and traditional vanilla.

They all turned out SO GOOD!

I have decided that it is an appropriate sacrifice to be a little higher on the scale to enjoy the creamy goodness of homemade ice cream.  :o)

Confessions From a Summertime SAHM

I spend 9 months out of the year as a working-mom.  I choose to spend my days with 13 and 14 year old teens.  (I really should start recording people's reactions when I tell them this...I get some doozies!)  Each year in May I get a 3 month "break" as I become a Summertime Stay-At-Home-Mom.

PS...did you know SAHM stood for Stay At Home Mom?  I just learned that!

Here's how that went.

I started the summer with a goal of organizing and cleaning out each room in the house.  I gave myself a realistic timeline of one room per week.  I did really good at the beginning and knocked off the master bedroom, kitchen, girls rooms, and master bathroom.  That's when productivity dropped off...  Looking back, I should have started with the basement toy area, office, and storage room.  I sorta half-assed the toy area and just tried to avoid the other rooms downstairs.  I like to think of it as...if I don't look at it, it's not there.

Jackie enjoyed her gymnastics class and it seems to be doing exactly what I wanted.  She has progressed to letting me watch outside the glass with the other parents.  Although we still struggle with following the "obstacle course" on her own, she is getting better.  A bribe of popcorn if she listens to her teachers has worked well!

Katerina has not yet figured out the "bribing" technique.  Either she's just not realized the reward for doing what she's told, or she's just not going to be motivated that way.  I really hope she catches on soon.  The bribe is the only tool in my "Mommy of toddlers" tool belt.  I really don't want to have to read any parenting books for other techniques.

I read more books this summer (not parenting ones) than I have in the last two years combined.  I don't regret a single nap time spent with my nose in a book.

I took my kids to the Y almost everyday so I could drop them off at the Kid Zone for two hours while I walked, read, worked on school stuff, or just ate a granola bar with out the little ones pleading and screaming for a bite.

I experienced the paradox that is sand.  I love how it keeps my girls entertained for hours and I loath the bath tub when trying to get it out of their hair and diaper...

Toddler girls have stinky toots.  It helps when I need someone to blame mine on... (I can't be the only mom who does this.)

The hot summer days call for chilled white wine after the kids go to bed.  This summer Ethan and I enjoyed trying different brands to cool off with.

We don't use our oven from May to September...I'm ready for some gooey casseroles and cheesy enchiladas!

If I could figure out how to keep the housework caught up during the school year as I well as I do during the summer I would write one of those parenting/mommy books.

All the Dad's in my Life

I am one blessed lady.  So are my girls.

While some people struggle to have even one positive male figure in their lives, we have three.

Here's a little tribute to them.

The Father of my Children.  Ethan.  Daddy.

They say that you'll never love your husband more than when you see him become a daddy.  That statement is truer that true.  There's nothing but pure love in his eyes when he holds his little girls.  Although he hopes someday for a boy, he is well aware that God may just think that we are good with girls and bless us with a houseful.  Doesn't matter to Ethan.  I hope our girls look for the qualities that Ethan possess when they consider who to become friends with, who to date, and who to marry.

Daddy for the second time. Same loving look.

Daddy's girl.

A daddy lesson...How to make S'mores.

See...she looks just like her daddy, right down to those blues.

Ethan was so excited when Jackie turned out to be a "daddy's girl."  She just always wants daddy. Katerina has been more of a mommy's girl, but is more recently starting to hang on daddy more.  Kat is the spitting image of him.  Every time she smiles I see it.

I can't wait to see how their relationships continue to grow.

Dadio.  Gamimi.

I always remember my dad as a busy guy.  If he wasn't working at the power plant he was busy out in his "shop."  He always had a project to work on, something to fix, or just futzing around.   He spent years planning and building his outdoor shop.  It is packed full of tools, gadgets, lawn mowers, and most recently, a fully functioning bathroom.  He never has to leave.  Mom texts him when dinner is read.  I never thought I would see that!

Dad and me painting the toy-box that is now in our basement.

He would sing made-up songs with silly words, such as "Dad is great, he gives us chocolate cake..."  (that particular song was sung when mom happened to be out of town for a night and he was in charge).

Even his grandpa nick-name comes from the silly words and sounds he would make.  Always cooing and saying goofy things to Jackie when she was a baby caused her to start calling him one of her favorite words.  Gamimi.  Even Katerina is starting to catch on, saying "mimi" when she sees him.  He forever stole the girls' hearts with doughnuts in the mornings and swings he fashioned in his shop out of an old car seat.

The first granddaughter.

The second granddaughter.

That car seat swing!

"Papa"

My Father-in-Law is hard to describe.  If you need something fixed, he can do it.  If you need to build something, he can do it.  If you need help on harvest, he is probably already doing it.  I have never seen anyone with such a creative mind.  I once saw him fix our well with a pop beer can and duct tape.  Seriously.  He would just drive his truck over and whatever you need, it's in there.  Talk about a stocked vehicle.  The back is packed with tools and items that you could ever think to need.  It's amazing.  Ethan and I have often joked that you could park his dad's truck in my dad's shop and they would never leave.  Ever.

He loves to spoil his granddaughters with a new dolly on their birthday.  He spends hours searching for just the right dolly for each girl.  He's up to finding four dollies each year.  Who knows how many more he'll end up with. :)

My Mother-in-Law told me early on that "Bill has a way with babies.  They just love him."  Oh was she right.  I don't know what he does, but both of my girls just light up when he comes over, and constantly want to go to Papa's house.

Jackie's first tractor ride.

Papa and Jackie.

Papa and Katerina, a few hours old.

As I said before.   We are some lucky ladies to be surrounded by so many incredible dads.  On this Father's Day and all the other days of the year, I hope they know just how much we love them.

Jackie's "Special Class"

This was week three.

Week three of Jackie's "Special Class."

Side Note:  Jackie is a creature of habit, set in her ways, and likes to do the same thing the same way every day.  In order to get her to do something out of the ordinary, we call it "special."  She has "Special Pop" (sparkling water), a "Special Clock" (which lights up and sings her a song at night), and "Special Chocolates" for cleaning up her toys at night.  And since the first week of June...a "Special Class"

We enrolled Jackie in a "Just 3's Gymnastics" class at the local YMCA starting in June.  We go once a week.  We figured this would be a good start.  She has never done anything like this before.

Let me say that again.

Jackie has NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE.

The closest she comes to structured class is... well... nothing.

During the school year, she goes to a private home daycare that we LOVE.  (She loves it as well.)  She plays with the same group of kids everyday, takes a good solid nap, and enjoys snack time.  I even show up to pick her up at the same time each day. (Give or take 10 minutes or so.)

Because I teach 25 minutes away from daycare and Ethan drive across town to work, there is no way we can send Jackie to preschool and keep her at "Mimi's."  We love "Mimi" and so does she.  Preschool, at this moment, is not a certainty.

What is certain is that Jackie needs to learn structure in a "school-like" setting.  She needs to interact with a group of other kids (without sucking her thumb and raising her shirt up to play with her belly button...that will come later).  She needs to have instructions given by a teacher, learn to wait her turn, and listen to what the teacher says.

Enter "Just 3's Gymnastics."

I think the program description even mentions the above items that kids will experience.

Off we went to the first class, the first week in June.

Jackie wouldn't go in by herself.  I had to sit her down on her little puzzle piece and sit behind her the entire time.  She didn't know any of the little songs or "moves" and ended up trying to figure out ways to escape.  She struggled to figure out that she's not always first and tried, at any time she thought I wasn't paying attention, to run off and play on other equipment.

Also... all of the other kids had done this many times.  Jackie was the wild-child rookie and I was the hovering parent who just couldn't "let go."  I desperately wanted to let-go, but my desire for her to participate outweighed the possible judgement of all the other parents seated outside the glass watching.

She did enjoy it and could do any of the tucks, jumps, and rolls that was asked.  It was the "class" part she struggled with.

Back we went to week two.  An improvement.  I could sit back on a mat and watch, as long as I was in the room.  I tried to sneak out once, and that lasted about 5 minutes before she came running out the door looking for me.

PS...my child is strong and has some kind of fascination with doors. Seriously.  She is like a Velocirapter in Jurassic Park.  She figures out every door she's come across.  We even have child locks on the INSIDE of her door so she can't get out in the middle of the night.

Week three.  I prompted her earlier in the day by telling her that I would be sitting by the door and she would go to the class by herself and listen to her teacher.  If she listened and let me sit all the way by the door, we would pop popcorn as a treat when we got home.

It was a good improvement!  She only ran back to me 3 times, and listened and participated much better than last time.   She still has a looooonng way to go in the regards of being comfortable with me leaving her, but we are trying to work out ways in which she goes to different activities without a parent.  I really don't want to have a 5-year-old clinging to my leg on the first day of Kindergarten.

Last night was an improvement.  A step in the right direction.  Hopefully with more classes like these she will learn those social behaviors that are necessary in a school setting.  The "stuff" (tucks, rolls, jumps, and balancing) are secondary to her participation.

She is my first.  I teach middle school kids.  I have NO IDEA if her actions are typical for 3 or if I'm raising one of "those" kids.  Should I worry about it?  Probably not.  Will she grow up and figure it all out? Yes.  But I do.  And I worry she won't.

I'm hoping that by the end of July I can sit outside the glass and just watch.

:)

June Ramblings...

I looked at the calendar the other day to schedule a dentist appointment (otherwise, why look at a calendar during the summer??) and realized that we are passed the half-way point in June.

What??!!

June half-gone already.

Where did it go?

Here...

• Morning walks are a must.  Luckily there have been only one or two of those early summer rainy days that we haven't got our walk in.  Sometimes it takes some convincing bribing ignoring the whines and cries to keep the girls happy for the duration of our 2 mile quest.  But it gets done.  

• Jackie is in full-on whine-about-everything mode.  I think I say the words "tell me that again without whining" more than any other phrase.  "Stop doing that" and "Be nice" run a close second and third.  

• Speaking of Jackie.  We put her in her very first structured class at the beginning of June.  "Just 3's Gymnastics."  Yeah...Jackie doesn't like structure.  More on that class coming soon...

• Katerina has figured things out.  Things such as "mine" and how to tattle.  We may not understand every single word, but the body language and facial expressions tell us everything we need to know.  Sometimes her complaints are justified.  Sometimes their not.  She is quickly learning that growing up means things don't always go your way.  She doesn't like it.

• Jackie had her first trip to the dentist.  Since we have REALLY been struggling with strangers and doing what she's told, I was prepared for an ultra-toddler-meltdown.  Turns out, she did great!  She has even told me that her teeth hurt and she needs to go back to the dentist.

• Parks and Pools.  We seek one out everyday.  I don't know how stay-at-home-moms and daycare providers survive winter months when you can't get out of the house.  Getting out makes the day for us.

• Everything in the summer is based on time and clean-up.  How much time will that activity keep the girls busy and how much mess will I have to clean up when their done?  Can I live with the mess for moments where kids aren't pulling my pants down.  (Seriously...that and the swim suit top.  For.The.Love.  DON'T GRAB MY CLOTHES).

• I am beginning to have a serious love-hate relationship with my Garmin Fit-Bit.  I love that I reach my goal everyday.  But I am super tired by 8:00 and that stupid thing keeps raising the bar.  It's going to think I've gone into shock when school starts up again.  (And I'm a teacher who is up off her feet most of the day).  Whew!

• Speaking of exercising...  Found out our bathroom scale was 10 lbs. off.  Dammit.

• Ethan discovered BBC's "Planet Earth" on Netflix earlier this month. Cool stuff!  We loved it and now Jackie LOVES coming to rest in our bed after we put Katerina to sleep to watch "animals" on TV.  

• Speaking of TV.  I have instituted a "no TV before dinner" rule this summer.  Very smart of me. The girls play together so much nicer and find ways to keep each other busy without it on.  I am getting more accomplished throughout the day...and my pedometer shows it.

• Ok...I have given in on the "no TV" rule on a couple of occasions.  1) Rainy days that we can't get outside. 2) To make Jackie feel better when she got whacked in the head with the car door and then not 20 minutes later pulled some heavy objects off a shelf right onto her head. She got 20 minutes of Shrek to make her feel better.   Poor thing. (But I did warn her about both...

So far, that's it.  I have found a few afternoon nap times to work on some school stuff.  I enjoy working on it and it gives me something else to do besides pick up the same shoes and blankets for the 10th time that day.  I find myself enjoying each day (some more than others...) and yet marveling in the speed of the months.  Before long it will be back to daycare and back to work.